My Questions Need An Answer
Or A Vacuum Will Appear


One day, MT was asking 20 bazillion questions. He got about 1 million answered, but eventually everyone got bored and stopped answering them.
"Why do cats have whiskers, Aaaallll?!" asked MT. Al sat reading her book and poofed up a lemonade pop and shoved it in his face.
MT grabbed it happily and went over to BT.
"Mommy, how come Al only becomes a kid when she is brutalllyyy uh.. something?" said MT. "Cause I wanna plaaayyy!"
"Yeh, sure MT I gotta go and floss cause I ate corn." said BT and ran around in circles until Mike kicked her and she fell over.
"Miiiiikkkeee how come Mommmmmyy is a big weirdo?" asked MT.
Mike shrugged and hummed a few bars. "Is that is?"
MT made a face and wandered over to Davy and Sassip.
"How come the grass is green and the sky is blue and Sassip is green and Davy is blue?" asked MT.
Davy was kicking around as Sassip had his head in her mouth and he couldn't breathe. Sassip spit him out. She then proceeded to eat MT.
Finally Sassip got tired of little kids in her stomach asking dumb questions as it was giving her indigestion, so she spit him up and he ran over to Peter.
"Pita pita! How come you have a name like Pita?" asked MT.
"I dunno.... hey Mike, how come I have a name like Pita?!" asked Peter.
Mike sighed. "Peter.. I don't know. Go away. You're as bad as MT."
Peter shrugged and wandered away.
MT began to look pained and ran around until he found Micky.
"DAAADDDYYY! I NEED AN ANSWER PLEEEAAASSSEE!" he shouted.
"MT GET OUTTA HERE I'M TAKING A BUBBLE BATH!" Micky shrieked and grabbed a towel and shut the door.

MT started to look freaked and began running around but no one would answer one of his questions. Micky came down a few minutes later looking cautious. He spied MT and grimaced. Suddenly MT stopped and Micky flew off the balcony and disappeared.
"Where did he.." asked Mike, and then he was sucked up and gone.
Al looked up but her book was gone already. "Oh foooooooopppp!" she said as she was sucked in.
Everyone else was sucked in, except Sassip, who momentarily got stuck. But then it opened up and she shrieked on through.
"WHERE ARE WE!?" shrieked Micky, his hair standing up on end.
"AHAHAHA!" said BT laughing at him uncontrollably.
Micky grimaced and tried to smooth out his hair but the vaccuum thing had made it sticky-uppy.
"WHAT WAS IT!?" shouted Mike.
"I believe the lack of questions answers made MT's mind create a vaccuum to fill up the void..." said Al, rubbing her head, as she hit the ground hard.
Micky rubbed his back. "Next time land on BT!" he said evilly.
"MICKY!" shouted BT.

Suddenly LP popped up. "MICKY!? Where!?" she intoned.
BT looked at LP suspisciously. "WHAT!?" she shrieked.
"I thought.. oh who are YOU?" said LP snottily.
"WHO ARE ME!? WHO ARE YOU!!!" shouted BT.
Micky fell over and scrambled away behind Al and Mike.
BT and LP stared each other down.
"Tsk tsk, now now." said Al. They both looked at her.
"What what what?" said BT. She looked at LP outof the corner of her eye.
"Okay, well, that's BT, and that's LP. BT, LP is your grandkid, man." said Al, with a tone of warning in her voice.
BT looked shocked. "WHERE DID SHE COME FROM!?"
"Well that's what you get for disappearing to where nobody knows where for 5 years and then coming back out of nowhere." said Mike.
"WELL I HATE HER NOW!" said BT and tried to leap at LP but LP made her freeze.
"How did you do that LP? I thought you couldn't do anything?" asked Peter.
"I dunno, it was self defence.." said LP and backed away from BT.
Al plucked her out of mid air and carried her away under her arm. She walked over to one of the portals and then got zapped back to where they were already.
"Hey, where ARE we?" asked Al suddenly.
"Mine. My mind pad memememe," said LP.
"Well I can't get out!" said Al.

Micky began to run around. "NO I AM TRAPPED WITH THE THINGS THAT JUMP AND ABUSE ME AND DO EVIL THINGS AND SHOUT THINGS AT ME ADKAHEIUAHADJAHSKJAHKRLGLKEA" said Micky spazzing all over the place.
"Micky, you have your crystal." said Davy.
"Oh.. yeh I forgot." said Micky and giggled.
Sassip punted him. "Don't DO that!" she said.
LP stood on her head just cause she could and glared at BT. "So why are you all in my pad, and why arn't you leaving all quicklike?" She asked.
"I thought that was rather obvious," said Al, "We DID just explain it all."
"Oh." said LP and fell over.
BT, wanting to mark her territory ran for Micky, but just before she could wrap herself around his leg his crystal glowed and she bounced off and landed on her tush.
"OOWWWIEEE!" She yelped.
LP giggled at her.
BT glared at LP.
Sassip sighed. "This isn't any fun, can we go home now," she said, not really expecting anyone to answer.
And no one did so she started chewing on Davy again.
Al started exploring, desperatly looking for a way out of MT's mind.
Mike and Peter just kind of stood around with nothing to do until Davy started gasping for breath cause Sassip had swallowed his head again.
Peter and Mike each grabbed one of Davys legs and pulled, while Sassip had a rather good grip on his head.
Micky was left with no one to hide behind so LP and BT turned their collective attentions to him.
"Oh god help me..." He muttered under his breath.

Both the figments knew better then to lunge for him because he had remembered his crystal and they were sick of landing on their tushes, so they just stared at him.
Micky found it slightly unnerving so he began to back up. Unfortunately he backed right into Sassip, who lost her grip on Davy. Mike and Peter had been pulling on his legs so hard that Davy went flying across the room and landed right on LP, who in turn landed on BT, who could no longer breathe cause she was buried under people.
Micky began to giggle, and then it turned into an all out laugh.
Davy, covered in Sassip spit, stood up and looked around in a bit of a daze.
LP sat up and pulled BT out from under her.
They both glared at Micky who was still laughing.
"He's so cuuuuuuuuuuuute!" BT said, nearly melting.
LP hit her upside the head, "Melting at the wrong moment won't help a thing, we have to find a way around that damn crystal. I have an idea!" LP leaned over and whispered into a skeptical BT's ear.
"WHAT WHAT WHAT???!!!" BT screamed, jumping up & down. LP hit her upside the head again & she fell over.
"Shaddap," hissed LP. Then she whispered a bunch of stuff at BT, but she didn't hear any of it because she was lying on the floor.
"Okay?" said LP.
"Huh?" replied BT.
"ERGGGHHH," shrieked LP & yanked her to her feet by an arm & BT whinged about pulled muscles & lymph nodes and dumb medical crap & LP whispered at her again & BT's eyes got all wide and stuff and they both grinned evilly evilly EVILLY at Micky.

Micky looked absolutely horror-stricken panicky manic-nervous scared to death.
"Gee, Mick, you look absolutely horror-stricken panicky man-" started Peter.
"WE KNOW, SHE SAID THAT," said everyone.
"Oh, sorry," said Peter, & tried to poof up a popsicle but then he couldn't because he was in MT's mind.
"I miss MT," said someone.
"Who said that?" said Mike.
And everyone looked in cupboards and dusty corners & lunchboxes & the fridge but nobody could find who said that.
So anyway there they all were, Davy was in a spitty pile of people and Micky was scared & BT & LP were evilly.
"Hey!" exclaimed BT.
"We're EVILLY," said LP evilly.
"Stop with the evilly," said Sassip & picked Davy up by his hair, depositing him in a corner away from all the people & The people that got squooshed stood up & were okay.
"Look, are you actually gonna DO anything evilly?" said Micky. "'Cause if you're not, I mean, I got better things to do than-"
"WE WASTE TIME SITTING THINKING ABOUT-" BT started shrieking but LP hit her upside the head again.
"-than standing around being scared of foopy figment chick people things that aren't even doing anything but looking evilly," Micky finished.
"Well we were but she's being a foopy boofer," said LP kicking BT. BT stood up & whinged until Al stepped hard on her foot. Then LP poked BT & shrieked "NOW!!" & BT ran at Micky shrieking all around him in a circle & he freaked & spazzed & then LP managed to attach herself to him.
"OOohhh nooooooo!!" said everyone in mock horror.
"Oh, everyone's horror!!" Sassip shrieked happily.
"Why didn't you use that line earlier?" demanded Al.
"Huh?" said Sassip dumbly.
"Sassip's dumbly," said Peter cheerfully.
"You know, when Micky was horror-stricken and blah blah," said Mike.
"OH!!" said Sassip brightly. "Micky's horror!"
"YES YES I AM!!!" shrieked Micky in terror because LP was attached to him.
"Mick, man, just use the force field," said Davy scoffily.
"Ooh, Davy's scoffi-"
"DON'T SAY IT!!" shouted people at Sassip, who pouted.
Micky used the force field, & LP immediately started shrieking.

"OMIGOSH IT TICKLES IT TICKLES EEEKKAAAHAHAHAHA MICKY MICKY TURN IT OFF OH PLEASE TURN IT OFF OHHHHHAHAHAAHA!!"
"See? I warned you," said BT.
"OMG NO YOU DIDN'T!!! OH MICKY TURN TURN IT OFFFFFFFFFFFFF," LP shouted.
Micky finally relented because her incessant screaming was giving him a headache, not to mention everyone else. He flipped off his forcefield and flipped it back on as soon as LP was clear.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" said LP and fainted dead away.
"HA! That's what she gets!" said Al. She turned and looked
at BT. "You know.. she's ALMOST as foopy as a certain little figment *I* know..."
"Oh, do I know them?" asked BT dumbly.
"UGH Nevermind BT!" said Al and went off again.
But not before stepping all over LP and bashing BT severely about the head and neck.
LP moaned and stayed unconscious and BT fell over and decided to be unconscious, and Al was thoroughly satisfied and clucked at them and then wandered off, ever vigilent and ready to beat the next boofer that came along.
"Wow, what a job!" said Peter.
"Wow, what a mission!" said Micky.
"Wow, what a boofer!" said Mike.
"BOOFER!? WHERE!?" shouted Al, running in as if from nowhere.
"Micky!" said Mike.
Al sighed at Mike. "HE'S not a boofer... at least not at this particular moment. Don't DO that!"
But Mike giggled insanely and rolled himself off to a chicken fry party.
"What the heck!?" asked Davy, watching him go confusedly.

And then Al beat BT just cause she was annoyed she hadn't gotten to beat anyone on this trip in.
"STOPPPP!" shouted BT and got up and ran around.
"OH HO She's not unconscious!" said Al evilly and began to chase BT around relentlessly.
"NOOOOOOOOOO MICKY!" shouted BT. but Micky put up his shield and she kept bouncing off it. Finally Al caught up with BT and gave her the thrashing of 10 life times but since this is a kiddie type story we won't go there.
"Geesh! What's your problem Al!?" Peter said scaredly.
"I dunno, but she's just SUCH a fooper I had to!" said Al painfully, and looking incredibly tense like she might snap in half at any minute.
"Al's snapped!" said Mike.
"Good. I can eat her now! Come hither, yummy tidbit!" said Sassip, licking her chops, getting out the salt and pepper and putting on her figment bib.
"Not on your life, lizard!" said Al and they got into a fight.
"Okay, what's going ON here?" said Mike.
Suddenly Peter began to bite him on the arm.
"Peter, what are you doing?" Mike asked calmly.
"I DUNNO BUT BUT BUT!" said Peter and bit him harder.
"OKAY that hurts now!" shouted Mike.
Then Micky felt evil and began to kick BT around. "EEKKK MICKY WHYYY!?" she said horrified.
"WHY WHY!? I dunno but you should be kicked more often!" and he kicked her about the arms and legs.
Then he kicked LP alot for good measure and they seemed not to like it much for some reason.
Mike was the only one who wasn't affected by the weird thing.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE!?" he shouted at the top of his lungs.
"WE DON"T KNOW!" shouted everyone and began to attack each other in a fit of heated rage.
"WAIT! STOP!" said Mike. Everyone stopped for a second.
"WHAT!?"
"I think this place is affecting us man! Must be something cause we didn't answer his stupid kiddie questions *dun dun DUN!!*. .. Hey, how come everytime we say kiddie question *dun dun DUN* we get a .. see it was right there then!" said Mike.
"Yeh, that's groovy music!" said Micky and Peter, and went back to beating up BT and LP and Mike.
"GAH! Will you guys knock it off! We gotta get outta here before we all kill each other to death!" said Mike, looking around for an entrance or exit or ANYTHING.
"STOP!" Screamed Mike again as someone kicked his shin.
Everyone stood frozen in place.

"What now?" asked Micky, who was positioned in mid-kick to LP.
"Could we all please just stop for a moment and try and find away out of here?!" Mike asked politly.
"Um... No..." Said Sassip, who was about to swallow Davy whole.
At just that moment LP opened her eyes groggily, as she had been unconscience for this whole little eppisode. Unfortunatly she opened her eyes to see Mickys foot aimed for her head, luckily it was frozen in place. However that didn't stop her from passing out again. She woke up a full 3 seconds later and rolled away from everybody.
"Okay, that's it, it's been fun, really, but PLEASE get out of my pad NOW!" LP screamed at everyone.
"WE CAN'T!!!" everyone screamed back.
"And," added Mike, with a slightly annoyed tone, "everyone is getting just a tad aggresive for some reason."
"Oh, well that just means MT is hungry, or he wants a Lemmyade Pop," said LP with a shrug.
"Well how the heck are we supposed to feed him if we are stuck in his mind?" asked Al, who was frozen in place beside BT who was curled up in a protective ball.
"Um, simple, I'll just pop out and see what he wants." Said LP and promptly disappeared.
"How'd she do that?" Asked Davy, which everyone took as the cue to begin attacking one another again.

*Back in the Monkees Pad*
"Where did everybody goooooo???" whined MT.
"They are all in your mind," said LP popping into the room suddenly.
"Lemmyade Pop!!!" MT said and jumped on her happily.
"Aw, I'd love to play right now kiddo, but I can't. I gotta clear everyone out of my pad." LP put MT down and went to the fridge to get some food.
"Eat this, kay." She said and MT ate it, though no one was really sure what it was since Peter had cooked it.
LP poped back into MT's mind and looked at the carnage around her.
"Okay, well MT just ate, so ya'll should be back to normal," she said.
"How did you get out of here?" Asked Al, slightly jealous.
"Um, I wasn't sucked in by the vacuum, I'm free to come and go," said LP, hiding from Al, who tended to be agressive for no reason. "Hey, if someone answers MT's questions do you think ya'll will be able to leave?"
Everyone just looked around the room at each other.
"Well?" said Davy finally.
"Well," said Mike.
"Well," said Peter.
"Well," said BT, gazing at Micky.
"WELL?!" said Micky snapping at BT.
"Wellllll," said LP also gazing at Micky.
"WE-ELL," said BT sneering at LP.
"Well well," said Al stepping between BT & LP, looking exasperated.
"WELL," said Sassip, & that did it. Root beer started pouring out of the walls, in a very small stream.

"What is THAT?!" said Mike.
BT looked scared to death. "OMIGOSH I CAN'T SWIM!! HELP MICKY SAVE ME FROM IT!" she shrieked & bounced off his force field 3 times.
"BT, you IDIOT. It's a PUDDLE," said Micky.
"Turn it off, someone!" said Al.
"I can't..." said LP.
"Why not?" said Peter.
"I just can't, I dunno!" said LP irritably.
"Well foop, we're all gonna die," said Davy & fed Sassip some fish-flavored pound cake he had in his pocket.
"But what is it?" said Mike.
"I dunno, drink some, BT, you're the boofer," said Al, shoving her forward.
BT turned white. "NO WAY!!!!" she shrieked & jumped up & clung to Peter, who looked slightly discomforted & sort of pushed her off.
LP poofed up a glass & a big scientific looking thingie with a lot of dials. And Micky went and played with the dials & banged his head into the side of it & nobody knew why & LP announced after running a test that it was vanilla extract, but then she fixed the dials Micky had messed up.
"Okay, it's not vanilla," said LP.
"So what is it?" said Peter.
"It's not cabbage juice."
"So what is it?" said Davy.
"It's not vinegar."
"So what IS it?" said Al.
"It's cream of root beer soup."
"Oh, I could have told you that!" Peter said, beaming.
Micky gave him a disgusted look. "Man, that's the ONLY thing I won't eat."
"Oh my GOSH, that IS scary," said Al, turning slightly green, which was impressive since she had purple blood & BT's was green.

"Hey LP!" said BT suddenly. "What color is your blood?"
"HUH?!" said LP, caught totally offguard.
"Ick," said Sassip.
"Well?" said BT.
"Yellow," said LP & then hissed at BT & BT hissed at her & they both looked at Micky & back at each other & shrieked & leapt at each other.
"CAT FIIIIGHT," shrieked Mike.
"Why do you say that? It's DUMB," said Sassip.
"Why do you say dumb things?" said Micky in horror, just so she'd be all horrorific.
"OH! Micky is horror," Sassip said disapprovingly.
"Hey," Al said suddenly. "You know what would be a really great word to use in this story? 'Decoupage.' Try & work it in here, BT!"
BT the author stared at Al for fifteen minutes, then shrugged & complied.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a decoupaged table appeared.
"Okay, that's enough," said Al & the table disappeared again.

"That," said LP & Davy in Unison, "was the dumbest occurrence ever to occur in these stories."
"OOH, UNISON!!" shrieked BT & ran around in circles until she fell down murmuring something about underwear, and everyone was scared of her & backed away. By this time, the cream of root beer soup was up to everyone's ankles.
"ANKLE SOUP!" shouted Sassip & started wallowing.
"Don't wallow sweethaht," said Davy & thwapped her lightly.
"What was THAT?!" said Micky.
"Sigh, I don't think the food thing is working," said LP. "Lemme try somethin' else," she said, & poofed out.
BT grinned evilly at Micky. "You're all MINE now!"
"Oh, p-LEASE," said Micky & calmly leaned on Mike, who looked annoyed.

Back in the pad, LP was making Jell-O & spoonfeeding it to MT.
"Lemmypop Jell-O, Lemmypop Jell-O," he said singsongily.
"Yes, stop singing songilies and eat," said LP & finished feeding the Jell-O to him. Then she poofed back into MT's mind to see the effect.
The rootbeer soup began to solidify.
"What's THIS called?" asked Mike huffily.
"Rootbeer Jello soup!" said LP proudly.
"That's dumb!" said Al. "I know.." and she proceeded to answer everyone of MT's questions.
As she did, there seemed to be some wind that was building up around the pad and soon everyone but LP began to be whisked around violently.
"AHHH KEEP IT UP ALLLL!" shouted Micky, and got banged into Mike and then Sassip who made him bounce off cause she was bigger.
Davy put up his shield and hid in Sassip's pouch.
"How come you don't like Pouch Time any other time!?" Sassip asked perturbedly.
"Uh, shhhhh.." said Davy and fell asleep.
Aft3er about 5 hours and a relieve of shift for Al, who had gotten rather hoarse screaming out answers, they all blew out of MT's mind and back into the pad. MT shrieked with laughter and grabbed BT.
"MOOOMMY GIMME.." said MT but Al had already shoved 5 lemonade pops in her face.
And so wraps up another stupid tale from the stupid creators of Al and BT and their stupid Monkee friends. I mean Stupid Al and BT and their Monkee friends.

The End.


Back to the main page