The Attack Of The Killer Fro

One day Al was fooling around in the basement (what basement? I dunno but there was one anyway) and she suddenly decided that she should go and see about something not in the basement so she went and this is totally irrelevant to anything. But anyway, she ran into a cat on the way and the cat pounced on her face because it was a mean cat and she was so freaked she smacked her head on a railing and died. Well not really but then she came back to life and decided that she was only 15 and that she should flirt with anything male in the hopes of... hey hey get your mind out of the gutter I was just gonna say in the hopes of getting silly valentine yeh yeh that's it anyway.
So anyway, Al waltzed back to the pad after stopping off at the drugstore to get some mad makeup (we dunno why it was angry.. prolly cause Al bought it) and then she ran into her room and fervently put it on. Coming out she had foot long eyelashes on and tralalaed in a pretty skirt she had over her pants because she was so hepped up on weirdness she forgot to take off the pants.

"HIIIIIII DAVY!" she shouted and ran at him. Davy thought nothing of this because Al runs at people all the time. Well maybe not but he was groggy having woke up from a nap recently.
"So, Daaaayyyvveeeeee..." said Al, curling her eyelashes around her finger in a flirtatious manner, "Whatcha doooiiinnn'?"
Davy was a bit perturbed by this (only a *LEETLE*) and eyed her funnily. "Um, I'm sitting here groggily." he replied cautiously.
"Oh! Okay!" said Al and poked him a lot about the cheeks and nose.
"HEY HEY!" said Davy and swatted her away. Al fell over and giggled stupidly for an hour until her nose started to hurt.
"Ough..." she muttered and poofed up a mirror. "URGH! I HAVE A HUGE ..." she shouted, stopped herself and poofed off to the little figment's room to fix herself.
"Why was Al wearing a cake on her face?" asked Micky stupidly.
"I think that was makeup," said Mike matter-of-factly.
"Oh. Hey Peter, any more BPFL's left?" asked Micky and promptly left in search of BT for some scrumminess.
Al returned sometime later with 5 "cakes" on her nose and a rather large zit that looked like a huge thing there on her nose... there was no other way to explain it.
"EEEEKKK!" shouted Sassip and attempted to pop it but Al screeched and moved deftly out of the way.
"This story is disgusting." said Peter and tsked everyone.
"Hey not my fault!" said Davy, scoffing a ton of poundcake whilst being poked by Al.
Just then BT came in and snigged. "OH POKING! It looks fun." she said to herself but not.
Everyone looked at her and rolled their eyes but BT was being a good thingie... until she waltzed up to Micky and poked his hair. The hair was furious and poofed up to ten sizes too big and hissed a lot.
"OOOOHH!" said BT and ran behind Al.
"OOOH!" said Micky and was dragged around by his hair.
Al was bored of poking Davy, had already tried Mike and was rejected, Peter had left in disgust, and Micky was the only boy thing around she hadn't tried. She poked, but the hair moved too fast and she poked the hair. This infuriated the hair more and it promptly ate her whole.

Meanwhile, Mike was using what he thought was shampoo, but when he returned his hair was three feet longer than it was supposed to be.
"SHOOT!" said Mike and started to rummage for some scissors.
"EEK!" said BT and poofed up a big stick & poked Micky's hair with it. It promptly ate the stick, and had BT for afters.
"Oh, the HOR-" started Peter, returning in horror.
"NOOOOOOO," screamed Sassip from somewhere that nobody *quite* knew where she was.
"I can't believe my hair ate AL, she had that huge you-know-what on her nose under all the cake!" said Micky in disgust.
Now, his hair didn't feel that Micky appreciated what he was doing for Micky, so it ate him.
Everyone was silent.

Wait, no, that's not quite what happened. Everyone (well, everyone who was left) started running in terror and everyone hid in a bomb shelter.
"Why are we in a jam shelter?" said MT quizzically.
"We aren't in a jam shelter, we're in a bomb shelter," Peter informed him.
"Why? There are no bombs around, there is just hair," said Mike in confusion.
Since it wasn't a hair shelter, the giant wad of follicles found its way in & started eating everyone.
"YUCKKKKKK," screamed Mike and Peter.
"Icky scary!!!" shouted MT.
"Oh poor scared babyyyyyy!!" yelled BT and found her way through the hair until she reached MT, and presumed to coddle him.
"Don't coddle him, he is MINE," said Al possessively but couldn't find everyone else because the cake was really doing mischief to her peripheral vision.

"Hey, where's Davy?" said Micky.
"Where are you?" said Mike.
"I'm in my hair," said Micky.
"I know that, we all are but where ARE you?"
"Over here."
"Where's here?"
"My hair."
"WHAT?!" said Peter loudly.
"Oh never mind," whined Micky.
"Wait, why did you WHINE?" said Mike.
"I didnnnn't!!" yelled Micky in utmost frustation.
"Oh, he is utmost frustration," Sassip said to herself, but she had rolled off to a fish fry to escape the chaos, so nobody heard her or paid her heed.

"Where's Davy?" said Peter.
"Um.... Pete? My line... that's... it's mine... no... STOP!!" said Micky as Peter proceeded to recite every line Micky had had up to this point (and some that were edited out because they contained drug material).
"WHAT THE HECK?!" said BT in terror.
"Oh, do stop your weirdness," said Al and sat on her.
"I have a headache," Mike announced.
"Why?" asked MT.
"Oh no... the Dreaded Kiddie Question *dundunDUN*! Whatever shall we all DOOOOO," shrieked BT, wriggling out from under Al and trying to hide in Micky's socks until he remembered he had a forcefield.
"Hey, she found him! BT where's Micky?" said Mike.
"I dunno," said BT, starting to feel woozy from all the bouncing so she went away to slee.
"Oh, I see... take a left down the greying hair to the point where it forms a triangle," said Al, peering through the forest of hair.
"I PROTEST!" shrieked Micky. "I have no greying hair!"
Al snickered.
"Bleck," said someone.
"Who said that?!" Mike demanded.
"This is just pointless dialogue," said Peter in confusion.

*Back in the pad...*
"Gee. I wish I had some pound cake," thought Davy.
Then the hair came around the corner and grinned evilly at Davy.
"Hi Micky," said Davy, not looking up cause he was having a torrid love affair with the refrigerator. I mean, he was peering into it and thoroughly examining the contents.
"You can't eat me, you wouldn't dare," said Poundcake in a bored tone.
"I think you are yellow and spongy and not fit for digesting," Davy informed it.
The hair responded by eating Davy, the fridge, the sentient poundcake, and most of the furniture in the pad.

"UGH it's getting CRAMPED in here," said Micky.
"OHMIGOSH, HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY *HAIR*!!" screamed BT and ran in fear.
"Oh yuck, I don't," whined Micky.
"You can have some of mine, it got long and weird," said Mike. "But not until I find you."
"Oh, hey, we can all poof out of here," said BT. "I wonder why Al didn't think of that," she said, and poofed everyone out of the hair.
"Probably her brain can't get any oxygen cause the cake is blocking it," said Micky in a serious tone.
"It's not CAKE, it's MAKEUP," Peter corrected him.
"Oh, excuuuuse ME!!!!" said Micky and went to flaunt hs poundcake at Davy.
"What the heck?!" said Al stupidly.
"Oh my gosh, where's the fridge?! I'll DIE without it!!" Micky shrieked & fell on the floor & went into convulsions. Davy stepped neatly over him and stared at Al in fright.
"Hi Davy, I is prettied!" Al said.
"Oh... oh... uh... oh," said Davy, not knowing what to say.
"HOLD STILL, Micky!!! Sheesh!" said Mike, attempting to put his makeshift toupee on Micky, who was still convulsing.
"Oh for the love of everything puffy," said BT in disgust & poofed the other half of Mike's hair onto Micky. "My but he looks strange."
"I'm not puffy!" Micky protested and glanced in a mirror. Then he wondered where he got the mirror but thought it best not to inquire into such strange matters.
"You are now," said BT and turned him into a mattress and went to slee on him.
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," said Micky.
"Ohhh, he is a SQUISHYTHING," Al said with delight and flopped on him, squooshing BT in the process.
"Oh my..." said Peter in worriment.

Now Mike's hat had been silent for most of the story, as it had repressed its jealousy against Micky's hair for the entire series... which had built up quite a lot over all this time, and now that Micky's hair was bigger than Micky himself the hat was REALLY frustrated. So it cut loose and went wild and ate Davy, who was the closest small object.
"Oh! It ate my ... uh... what's the word?" said Al stupidly.
"Ffffffffrddddd," said BT from under her.
"Your basketball?" said MT cutely.
"BASKETBALL?!" said Micky in confusion.
"Oh he is confusion," said BT and turned him back into self, in hopes that the sudden absence of the comfiness he had possessed as a mattress would incite Al to remove herself from his vicinity.
"Miss Author Snit, I can't understand what you just said cause the big words... they're big... and-" Micky started but the author kindly reminded him he had Mike's hair, and looked really weird, so he shut up.
"Oh! I have to look like Micky," said MT and disappeared.

Meanwhile Al was lost in the story and was wandering around aimlessly and got eaten by the hair again. All we know is there was a loud but muffled noise, Al came flying out and the hair shrunk considerably and ran away whimpering to somewhere where it would no doubt appear again *hint hint*. Anyway Al was looking more like herself and only had one cake on her face which she promptly left to wipe off ASAP.
"NO HAT! NO!" Mike was shouting at the top of his lungs. Mike's nice wool hat.. with the pompom... was eating a chair and one of Micky's legs.
"Whodathink such a teensy little hat could eat so much.. YEOWCH!" shouted Peter.
"So much yeeeee-ooowwwwwuuucchh?" said MT, returning with green hair.
Al returned shortly looking more like herself again (without the skirt) but she had a HUGE band-aid on her nose.
"OMIGOSH!! MT!? 'ZAT YOU!?" she shouted and stared. MT giggled.
"Mommy I's made my hair like Micky's!" he announced cutely. Al muttered something, waved her hand dismissedly at him and looked around futiley. "Where's Davy? I still have this inane urge to poke at him with my finger.."
Mike snorted. "Oh.. oh haha she said.. with her finger!" and he rolled off to a chicken fry.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Sassip bouncing back in. "MINE!" and she tried to eat the hat but it spit out Davy and the furniture and Peter and Micky's leg.
"Thank you!" said Sassip and bounced out again. The hat was feeling tetchy and wandered around trying to think evilly.

Meanwhile Micky concentrated on growing new hair so he sat and sat and thought about new hair.
Suddenly the old hair came back for revenge. But just at that moment Pink Thing bounced in. "OH! ITS A TWINKIE!" he shouted and ate the hair.
Sassip returned as well and saw the hat chewing on Davy's hair. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she shouted and ate the hat.
Pink Thing felt ill and ran out to the sea for some water.
Sassip felt happy but the hat was sucking up all her stomach juices so she got very dry inside and had to expell the evil wool thingy.
The hat was disgusted on so many levels it decided to be nice, esp since that nasty Pink Thing ate the hair for now.. but it knew the hair would return to terrorize poor defenseless hats everywhere.. *dun dun DUN*. Anyway, Mike came back and treated the hat to a nice soothing bath and a massage and then back on his head with it (no rest for the headwear).

Pink Thing returned looking very ill.
"Lilyfrond, my beautiful lily of the sea..." he said in an out-of-breath voice. "I fear my time is at hand..."
"OH MY GOSH STOP STOP IT'S SO DISGUSTING AND SOAP-OPERA-Y!!" Sassip shrieked & hit Pink Thing with her tail. He coughed up a hairball pitifully & looked upset.
"I cannot expell it!!" he whined.
"OH how disgusting," said Sassip. "Lay an egg!"
Pink Thing was horrified. "That's so undignified!!!" he said in shock.
"OH, he is horror," Sassip said tiredly and punted the hair out of him.
"Oh my, it's all stomach-juicy! My my what you need is a perm," said BT and set about styling the giant mass of hair.
"But I'm DYYYYing!" whined Pink Thing.
"Oh come off it, it's not all that bad," said Sassip and punted him to kingdom come.
Meanwhile BT had finished grooming Micky's hair and held up a large mirror in front of it. It promptly consumed the mirror and set about trying to consume BT but she ran away.
"EEK!" said Micky, Mike, Peter, Davy, Al, and Sassip, and all hid.

MT was outside flying a kite when BT came outside shrieking her head off. MT lost his concentration and the kite became trapped in a tree.
"Oh it's a kite-eating tree!" said BT fondly.
MT looked as if he was about to cry.
"OH no no no no no baby don't cryyyy it's okaaaaay!!" said BT, jumping up on MT and wrapping herself around his head in a coddly manner which only made him cry more because he couldn't see.
Then Micky's hair came outside & ate BT.
"Oh thank you Mickyhair," said MT. "Hm... I will name you coleslaw," he said matter-of-factly and set about trying to get the kite out of the tree, when Micky's hair thoughtfully ate the tree.
"Oh, THANK you!! I like you," said MT staring up at the hair with adoring shining big kiddie eyes. The hair ate him.
"Mff," said MT.
Al came out and threw makeupcakes at the hair. It made a funny shrieky noise and spit out everything it ate, including the Titanic, which it had a go at when it was inside Pink Thing, and ran off to Sassip only knows where ("And I ain't tellin!" she remarked snitchily).
They pleaded and begged her but she refused. Anyway then they pleaded and begged Al to tell them how she knew the makeupcakes would scare the hair away.

"Well, firstly I'm not in need of begging and pleading.... secondly, it didn't like my.. you-know-what... and the makeupcakes reminded it of them so it got scared and ran away. Thirdly, I think I should be paid for that heroic feat!" she announced.

MT had her in a grip of death hug and slowly strangled her while carring her back into the house. "Oh Mommy saved me from coleslaw smelly thing with a nice hairy hairy do!" he sang happily. BT had his kite and was flying it until the tree ate it. Mike had his hair styled in its usual way with the hat casually perched on top in a ne'er-do-well yet teasing way just right to taunt young girlies as they ran past him giggling stupidly. Micky was on his way to growing a new head of hair that hopefully would not be half as aggressive as the last fro that hatched from his unusually shiny bonce. Peter felt left out. But then he remembered that the last story that revolved almost totally about him involved him hatching out of an egg so he shut up and tralala-ed along happily... until the tree ate him... Davy was still in the hat. No one knew. Everyone thought the hat had spit him out but it really fastly snapped him up again and no one knew until everyone fell on Mike's head.

The End.

Next Issue: Sassip is turned into a Giant Peep somehow we aren't sure yet cause we ain't written it yet tralala and she is highly irked.

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