"I want some sleefish," said Sassip boredly and rummaged through her pouch.
"SLEE fish?" asked BT who was whittling a giant statue of Micky.
"Don't do that," said Peter and ate it.
"WHAT!?" said BT in horror.
"NOOOO HORROR!" said Sassip and punted her.
"Why did you .. HOW did you eat my statue!?" she demanded.
"Well when you whittle it out of POUNDCAKE it's not really that hard," said Peter and strolled away to bother someone else.
"Oh.. well huh," said BT and griped alot.
"Oh shush," said MT. He shoved eight boxes of serals down her throat as she opened her mouth to protest.
"Ugh hack.." she stuttered and wandered away shakily.
Micky was highly distressed at seeing himself being made of poundcake and then eaten and he wandered around in shock.
"Oh my!" said Al.
"Where did you come from?" asked Peter.
"Where did YOU come from?" asked Al. They stared at each other for a while.
"I thought you went to go bother someone," said Al finally.
"OH I did but I couldn't find anyone. Where did you go?" asked Peter.
"I was right here the whole time watching the interesting eating spectacles," said Al boredly.
"WHY is everyone bored?" asked Micky.
"Aren't you too?" asked Al.
"Yeh but.." said Micky and got confused and walked off to find Peter who was right in front of his face the whole time but he didn't realize it.
Just then Mike and Davy came rolling back because this plot is too slow.
"Brains!" said Mike and nodded at Davy. Davy nodded back and they walked over to BT who seemed the perfect victim.
"Hi Mike. Hi Davy. You too look a little pale. Are you okay?" she asked not really waiting for an answer. She had just gotten over her seral wooziness.
"We need to see your brain for a minute," said Mike and grabbed her head.
"Oh Mike that tickles!" said BT giggling.
"I don't see it," said Davy.
"Me neither," said Mike. They stared at her for an hour and tried to figure it out. Then they stared at it for a few more hours and finally they couldn't fathom what was the matter with her.
"No brain," said Davy.
"No brain," said Mike and they walked away to Peter.
"BRAIN!" said Mike and Davy.
"Oh hi guys. But my name is Peter," said Peter.
"No we need brain," said Davy rather unemotionally.
Mike and Davy grabbed Peter's head and did almost the same thing as they did with BT.
"Oh Davy man stop that!" said Peter.
"No brain!" said Davy.
"There is brain. It's not very big," said Mike.
Davy shrugged, and they looked on the brain chart.
"It's too small," said Davy and Mike agreed and they left Peter alone.
Davy wandered around, haphazardly bumping into things.
"OH MY DAVY FELL DOWN AND BUMPED HIS TUSH!!" screeched Sassip bouncing in.
Davy stared at her head & started salivating. "MIIIKE!! I bet she has a HUGE brain!!"
"Ooh!!" said Mike and started salivating as well.
"Oh my gosh, why do they SALIVATE?!" said Al, and was in terror.
"Maybe they want chicken?" suggested BT.
"OR BREFFAST SERALS!!" said MT who had gotten through half a box when Al made him stop.
"Davy? Who has a huge brain? What? Me? I punt!!" said Sassip joyfully.
This being a stupid moment, Pink Thing came in for some comic relief.
"Oh, you," Sassip said tiredly & started to punt him.
"WAIT!" said Mike. "You get the little pink one and I'll get the big one," he said evilly, fixating his eyes on Sassip's brain again. He climbed up her neck & attempted to pry it out.
"OUCH What does Mike hat thing do?!!" said Sassip irkedly. "I am irkedly," she declared, and whirled her neck around causing Mike to fall off.
"Oohhh whiplash," Pink Thing said sympathetically. Sassip promptly punted him but unfortunately Davy was trying to extract his brain so he went with him.
"'Ey, what was that for??" he said, storming back in a few minutes later. Mike had extracted Sassip's brain (which looked suspiciously like a seaweed-encrusted clam), but she was functioning normally without it, so he supposed she didn't need it.
"Pink Thing was a horrid nit and I punted him," Sassip said singsongily, rocking back and forth awkwardly.
"I don't suppose she really has a brain, do you?" BT whispered to nobody.
"Nope just a clam," Nobody said.
"OH I MADE A FIGMENT NAMED NOBODY!!!" BT yelped.
"No no no," Al said disgustedly, "the author's just being STUPID."
"I protest," said the author, and made Al go eat raw fish. Her come-uppin's were long past due.
"Mommy what are comuffings?" MT asked her.
"Ugh," she said, in disgust from all the raw fish, and wouldn't answer.
Mike looked at her skeptically. "She probably doesn't have a brain...what do you think, Davy?"
"Nah," said Davy. "Try the one hanging from the ceiling," he said, looking up at Micky.
"Micky, what in the world are you doing up there?" said Peter.
"Hiding," said Micky.
"From what?" said Peter.
"That figment named Nobody."
"THERE IS NO FIGMENT NAMED NOBODY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! THE AUTHOR WAS BEING A STUPID IDIOT MORON!!" screamed Al, who was immediately made to consume mass quantities of clams. Everyone shuddered except Sassip, who looked pleased.
"I knew one day she'd get her own medicine tasties, that lip-giver."
This confused everyone horribly but they knew better than to inquire into Sassip's statements.
Mike pulled Micky down from the ceiling (?!) and attempted to extract his brain.
"What on earth?! It's TINY!!" he said, pulling a magnifying glass out of his hat & peering at it.
"What is?" said Davy, peering at it.
"Oh forget it," said Mike, tossing Micky's brain on the floor, where it slipped through a crack and was never seen again.
"Mike... Mike, I don't think ANYONE here has brains," said Davy.
"No, there's one person we haven't checked," Mike said slowly.
"What, the little one?"
"No, YOU!" said Mike & launched at Davy's head. A massive brain-prying fight ensued.
"Oh my," said Al, as the dust cleared and Davy & Mike were sprawled on things, brains still intact.
"Oh she said oh my again," said BT and kicked at the dust fretfully.
"But it cleared," Peter pointed out.
"FOOOOOP," screeched BT loudly, because she didn't feel she had made a big enough nuisance of herself yet.
"But wait I don't have a brain," said Davy.
"Oh yes neither do I," said Mike.
"Huh what are they talking about?" asked BT.
"Uh.... wait.. they are acting weird.. they look dead.. they are talking about brains.. THEY ARE FROM THE IRS!" shouted Peter and ran around crazily.
"What?" said Al.
"Uh.. I dunno," said Peter.
Meanwhile, Mike and Davy were approaching and cornering MT.
"Mommy they are starey!" said MT slightly alarmed.
"Um, Mike, Davy, step away from the 5 year old 21 year old," said Al calmly but with a hint of business in her voice.
"Huh?" asked Davy and Mike. Their brainless selves could not comprehend her statement.
"WHY are they brainless?" asked BT again.
"I think they rolled off to a brain fry," said Al.
"Oh that one is smart," said Davy.
"No it's not," said Mike and slapped Al.
"Ouchhh!" said Al and fell over on the ground.
"I told you!" said Mike and grinned dumbly.
"MOMMY!" shouted MT stupidly which brought attention back to him.
"Oh that one has a big brain," said Mike.
"How!?" said Davy and then started to giggle. Mike looked alarmed and slapped Davy lightly on the cheek. "Don't do that."
"Oh. Right," said Davy. "But that one looks like the one that had the tiny pea brain."
"Yeh but he is still young so it is big.. and juicy.. and tender.. and.. yummy..." said Mike, drooling everywhere.
"HE IS ME!" said Sassip and punted Mike.
Davy meanwhile was trying to pry MT's brain out. Al had since woken up and poofed Davy into a small and inconsequential napkin.
"What did you do to my zombified brain munching partner?" asked Mike.
"He's the brainless napkin," said Al. "Wanna try me? I won't let you get away with MT's poor brain."
"MOMMY WAHSAH BRAAAIINN!?" asked MT.
"He doesn't even need it," said Mike, drooling everywhere.
Al sniffed and Mike was a hose attachment.
Al took the hose attachment and the napkin and set them on the table.
"What are we going to do about poor Davy and Mike zombie things?" she asked.
"How could anyone be so dumb?" asked BT.
Just then Micky and Peter walked in covered in mushy Oreos and making dumb faces.
"WHAT happened?" asked Al.
"Well we were fighting over Micky's stash of Oreos in the bathroom and the tub was kinda full of water and his WHOLE stash fell in the tub and us after it and all the cookies got mushy and by the time we got out the cookies were all over us.." said Peter.
Micky growled, "WELL Peter if SOMEONE hadn't tried to get my secret stash it wouldn't have happened!"
"I know Micky. Why did you stop me?" asked Peter innocently. "I just wanted a few."
"UGH!" said Micky and wandered off.
"Well, it's surprising that his brain really didn't affect his stupidity at all..." said BT.
"I HEARD THAT!!" shouted Micky but then there was a big crashing sound & nobody thought anything more about that. BT immediately setting about trying to carve a statue of Mike out of chicken.
"EWWWWW BT!!" said MT.
"WHY are they zombie braintaker things anyway??" asked Peter.
"Didn't you read the script?" whispered Davy, momentarily breaking character.
"No...." said Peter.
"Oh, well THEN," said Davy & went back to his small, inconsequential napkinity.
"OHMIGOSH DON'T *DO* THAT!!!!" Al shrieked.
"Sor-RY," BT said snitchily & rolled off to a chicken fry party.
"Nooope nope nope, NO you don't," said Peter, hauling her back minutes later. "You know what happened to Davy & Mike."
"We should have seen this coming, you know..."
"It was only a matter of time before all that chicken got to them..."
"PETER, I just wanted to get my socks!!" BT said & stalked off huffily.
"Oh my stars whatever did she mean," murmured Peter, curling up on the couch & falling asleep.
Mike meanwhile was trying to suck MT into his hose attachment self & Al was pulling him away & setting him back on the table, until she finally got annoyed and decided to turn him into something less threatening.
"A water buffalo??" said BT, sticking her head back in the room.
"No, a spoon."
"Oh," said BT & disappeared again, for reasons we do not care to know.
"I'm just building a-" she started, but the author cut her off before she could reveal important plot points.
"Oh snort, BT is never an important plot point. I am the focus of every plot, plots revolve around meeee," Sassip said as she hadn't had any lines in a good two paragraphs.
"EXCUSE ME!" yelled BT from wherever she was.
"You're excused," said Sassip and resumed rambling incessantly about her many virtues.
"Pringle Pringle spronky pringle," MT sang to himself, stirring a large bowl of cookie dough.
"OHMIGOSH WHERE DID HE GET THAT??!!" Al exclaimed. She had been too busy pondering over Mike and Davy's zombie state to pay any attention. "Ugh I'm gonna give that lil fooper a piece of my mind!"
"That's what I like about you, Al," said Micky, re-entering into the plot (or the room in which it was contained, anyway). "No matter how little you have, you're always willing to share."
Al looked utterly confused at this.
"Micky you need to lie down. I will find your brain. Apparently what little it gives is exactly what you need..."
Micky didn't understand this speech at all and wandered off to eat something.
"NO YOU STAY THERE!" said Al and made him.
"I was just gonna talk to Poundcake and get some Coke," Micky sniffed.
"OH POUNDCAKE!" said Al and ran into the fridge. "Ouch that hurt."
"OH OH OH!" said Micky and BT and Peter and started to laugh at her.
"I think her brain was taken too," said Peter.
Al sneered at them and opened the fridge. "Hey. Poundcake. Wake up!" said Al.
"Close the door it's hot!" said Poundcake.
"But what do you do about Brain Fry Obsessed Zombies and how do you reverse them back into people?"
Poundcake pondered this for a minute. "You have to go and kill the zombies that ate their brains."
"HeLOOO? This is a KIDDIE story! GEEZ!" said Al.
"Oh, well then you have to um... uh.. feed them candy," said Poundcake and shut the door on Al's nose.
"OUCH I DON'T LIKE THIS STORY!" she remarked and went to squishything.
"Oh oh does that have something to do with the Sleefish!? Cause I lost the ones I bought and I want to eat them!" said Sassip excitedly.
Meanwhile, Mike and Davy were rescued by their Zombie friends.
"Oh oh we are glad to see you. They have brains but they are junky," said Mike.
"Junk food," said one of the Zombies.
Al was sleeping so they broke into the room.
"OH OH HELP!" she shouted as they grabbed her and carried her to the table.
"Why didn't they just take the brain in the room?" asked Peter.
"I dunno but this is funny," said BT happily.
"Oh she's EVIL!" said Micky.
"Micky I found your brain," said BT and shoved it back into his head.
Micky's eyes lit up for a second and then they went vacant again.
"OH I can read Al's mind again!" he snickered. Then he thought he oughta do something about something.
"Oh.." said Al and suddenly went blank and stupid and silly.
Micky giggled evilly and thought hard.
"NO NO NO!" said BT and punched him.
"OOF!" said Micky and kicked her to the rafters.
"Do we even HAVE rafters in the pad?" asked Peter.
"No. but oh well," said Micky and then he thought some more.
"Why is it grinning?" asked one of the zombies.
"I would think it would be screaming in abject horror.." said another.
"NOOOO HORROR!" said big old brainless Sassip.
She forgot to punt, consequently and ran around in a stint.
The zombies ignored her but Al was still grinning dumbly.
"It's making me nervous," said the first zombie.
"Just get it out before something happens!" said Davy.
"Yeh," said Zombie two and started to go for Al's brain but Micky thought something and Al grinned dumbly and blinked.
Suddenly Zombie two was a lava lamp.
"OH NEAT I ALWAYS WANTED ONE!" said Peter and took it to his room, despite muffled grunts of protest from the lamp.
There were four Zombies but only two seemed to talk much.
"Hurry hurrrry!" said Mike.
"But he took Phil!" said the first zombie.
"Forget Phil we need to get to that fry!" said Mike and Davy in unison.
"Oh Unison! I was there once.." said Sassip but Micky made Al mute her again.
So Zombie One tried to take Al's brain but Micky thought again and Al blinked again and Zombie One was turned into an aloe plant.
The other zombies fled in abject horror, with Sassip flopping around confusedly after them because she forgot to punt since her brain was out.
"It was only a clam anyway," said Micky disparagingly.
"OH!! CLAMS!! HOW DISGUSTING! Not only does he talk about clams, but he does so disparagingly," said Sassip, expressing her acute disapproval by stuffing Micky down into the murky depths of her pouch & sitting down hard.
"Oh she has murky depths?! Eegh!" said Al, coming to her senses.
"DAVYYYYYY COME BE MY CUTE SWEET THING!" Sassip said sweetly.
"Oh UGH," said BT from the rafters, where she was building a nest.
"EEK!" said Davy and started to roll back but Al stopped him and Mike both.
"No no no you stay there," she said & put them in a large cage.
"Now, has anybody seen their brains?" she asked. Nobody had.
"Well I know you haven't SEEN them but do you know where they are??" Al asked again.
"Davy can't roll properly anyway, there's a draft in here and it is daunting his napkinly self from moving properly," BT remarked until MT shot his toy pop gun at her and she fell down.
"MOMMY I caught a pheasant for foodytimes," he said proudly.
"A PHEASANT?! How does he learn such big words," Al said admiringly, wiping a tear from her maternal eye.
"Oh, puh-LEASE," said BT rolling her eyes.
"Turn them back!" said Sassip. "I WANT MY CUTE DAVY!!"
"Okay okay!" said Al, and made the cage bigger to accomodate Mike and Davyness.
"Now what did you two do with your brains?" she demanded.
Davy and Mike looked at each other. "We donated them to the fry," they said.
"Oh ewwwww!" said BT and fainted.
"Hmm brain fry.. a little weird but doesn't sound too bad.." said Micky.
"You would think that!" said Peter.
Micky sneered and walked off again.
"Oh man.." said Al and sighed. Then she ran up to her lab and prepared a potion.
"Hey you guys, drink this!" said Al and handed them each a big beakerful. Mike and Davy refused so she made them.
"What is it?" asked BT.
"I made a brain grow formula," said Al.
"A WHAT!?" said everyone.
"A brain grow formula. It regrows lost or eaten brains,"
"Oh,.." said everyone, and they were skeptical. But in 2-4 weeks, Davy and Mike had their brains fully grown and nicely hedged by an over attentive Al.
Next Issue: MT starts developing figmental powers.