"Man it's already 12 PM," said Micky boredly.
"I know. We shoulda slept til 5 PM!" said Peter.
"Why?" said Mike. He was idly playing with Sassip's head spikes.
"DON'T DO THAT!" said Sassip and put them down.
"Hey I was playing with them!" said Mike angrily.
"Get offa me!" said Sassip and knocked him into a droolpool. He hit his head on the way down and almost drowned in it.
"OMIGOSH SASSIP YOU ALMOST KILLED MY CHICKEN FRY BUDDY!" said Davy, kicking her viciously.
"MY DAVY IS VICIOUS!" said Sassip and rolled off to lament the situation.
Meanwhile Davy was trying to resucitate Mike.
"Man that author can't spell," said Micky.
"Shut up hair thing!" said the Author and knocked him into a drool pool.
"Ugh..." said Micky and went to take a shower with his clothes on. Cause we at the Al and BT Chronicles do not sanction naked thingies. Except Sassip.. and when they are aminals... uh.. anyway.
Davy had turned Mike over and was drying him off because Sassip drool is nasty. Then he noticed Mike was drooling alot.
"Ugh he's like Sassip..." Davy mused absently to himself.
"Hey Davy what's wrong with Mike!?" asked Micky who had come back sopping wet.
"Ugh!" said Al. "Come here you!" and she took Micky out to the balcony and strung him up on a clothesline. "And you can't come back in til you're completely dry!"
"Awwwwwwww!" whinged Micky but stayed strung up.
Meanwhile Mike was waking up.
"OH DAAAYYVEEE!" he shrieked.
"Oh Hiya Mike!" said Davy happily (OMG I love it when he says that.. er.. sorry)
And thensoemthing happened.. oh my train of thought is befooper....
Right. Davy noticed Micky.. no wait. Mike yes it was Mike.
Davy noticed Mike was looking at him oddly.
"Um, Mike what's the matter?" he asked anxiously.
"Davy! You are tall!" Mike shrieked in a weird high pitched voice.
"Uh.. not really.." said Davy, in much alarm.
Mike got up on all fours. "OMIGOSH DAVY I'M LITTLE AGAIN!" he shouted.
"WHAT!?" said Davy, backing up, tripping and falling tush first into the drool pool.
"OH DAVYYY!" said Mike and ran around weirdly on all fours. He started bruising Al and BT and Peter and Micky's shins.
"OUCH MIKE!" they all whinged.
"MIKE!? WHERE I WANT TO BRUISE HIM!" Mike shouted.
"What the...?" asked Peter. He grabbed Mike (as best he could).
"MIKE! Er.. whoever you are!.. um who ARE you!?" asked Al.
Mike stopped struggling and looked Al squarely in the face. He got the most evil look on his face. "WHO AM I?! Lemme count the ways. I mean sing the tune....
My name is Sassip I punt all day long,
Except for today when I made up this song
I drool when I sleep and I shriek at the mention
of Horror I hate it, a nasty invention!
Cute Davy is yummy, Mike Hat Thing is fun
BT is a Boofer a punt she needs, that one
Micky is loud and Peter is boring
Stupid MT laughs while I'm snoring
Al is so evil she just gives me lip
Why is that wrong? Why I am SASSIP!
MEMEME MEMEME MEMEME MEEEE!
I am so perfect, oh don't you agree?
I'm big and I'm green and I'm cuter than cute
If some one could hate me I won't give a hoot
Pouch Time is funner than anything yet
Its the most fun that anyone living can get
I can live on land but don't need icky legs
If I want I can play in the ocean instead
My flippers are perfect for punting alone
My purpose is divine and written in stone
MEMEME MEMEME MEMEME MEEEE!
I'm the most perfect thing on land, air or sea!"
Everyone gaped at him.
"You know, he has a better voice than Sassip really..." said Peter.
"I AM SASSIP!" Mike shrieked.
"Oh, that would explain why he sung that song!" said BT brightly.
"My but she's dumb," said Micky.
"But it said I'm brightly!" said BT.
"Its an inconsistency," said Micky.
"Well I dunno but it is and you are and nevermind."
"Darn, Mike isn't here to fill in the 'Isn't that dumb' line!" Al whinged loudly.
"This stupid story is stupid and dumb!" said Mike loudly.
"I WANT THINGS!" said MT loudly.
"STOP SAYING LOUDLY OR I PUNT!" said Mike.
Sassip came in. "DID I HEAR SOMEONE SINGING MY SONG!? ITS MINE!" she said angrily.
"Oh, who is THIS!? DAAAYYVVEEE!?" shouted Mike.
"Uh uh uh... er.. help!" said Davy and hid behind everyone.
Just then someone fell on him cause no one had in AGES and Davy was befuddled and falled on.
"MIKE MIKE MIKE!!!" Sassip shrieked frantically. "You PLAGIARIZED my work of masterpieceness!!"
"Sue him," said Micky calmly.
"Clams??!! WHERE?!" said Mike.
"No no no ... *calmly*, not *clam*ly," said Peter.
"Oh," said Mike & looked disappointed. "*YOUR* work of masterpieceness??!!! Why is there another of me?! I am UNIQUE!! I am the only Sassip!!"
"You are a short guitar player," Sassip sniffed.
"OOH I cannot play the gueeetar, I have FLIPPERS," said Mike, holding his hands out.
"Oh they are hands," said BT remarked her bright dumbly.
"What the heck?!" said Davy & rolled off to a chicken fry party, but he took the freeway instead of the scenic route, and therefore got news coverage because he was in a high-traffic area & his cuteness radiated throughout it.
"Oohhh there's CUTENESS!! I MUST HAVE IT!!" yelled Mike & Sassip in unison & made for the TV.
"I wanna see it toooo!!" said BT & tried to squirm in between them to see.
"Go look at Micky cuteness or something," said Sassip in disgust.
"OH okay!!!!" BT said excitedly & darted off while Micky was heard to shout, "HEEYYY!!!"
"Are you dry yet?" said Al wandering outside & poking his arm. "OH no, he has DAMPNESS," she said disapprovingly.
"Oh yuck, dampness," said BT & left with Al, much to Micky's surprise & happiness.
"Time for breffast serals," announced MT marching in, & realized he had none.
"MOMMYYYYYYYYYYY???" he shrieked. "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY BREFFAST SERALS?! THEY GONEY-GONED!!"
"Breffast serals are off-limits," Al said firmly.
"Nooo. Gimme some I want to feed them to you!!!" MT said with a disturbed look in his little kiddie eye.
"See??!! Let YOU mother him and he develops these bizarre culinary fetishes," BT said & went to play a game of Fudge Croquet with Davy & Peter.
"Oh my gosh, I don't EVEN wanna know what THAT involves," said Al & went to give MT a clothes bath because he was nasty sticky. She shortly hung him out to dry with Micky & they looked weird.
"Micky!" MT greeted him.
Micky looked over at him listlessly & then looked over the other way. "Ummm, hi."
"Mooommmyyy made me take a SHEEEEYOWWWWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!"
"Bath," Al corrected him & left after affixing two more clothespins to each of them.
"Oh the cuteness is all over, now there is a story about children developing strange culinary fetishes," said Mike disapprovingly & punted the TV.
"Wow, Mike actually punted something!" said Davy returning from Fudge Croquet (Peter & BT were still playing, Davy lost).
"Mike Mike Mike, ICK. Mike is a nasty weirdo chicken fry thingy and I am the lovely water thing that swims about and plays with starfish and I HATE THE PINK THING EWWW he is the worst thing since seaweed getting stuck in the corners of your pouch," said Mike distinctly.
"OH NOOOOOOOO," screamed Sassip & shoved Mike in her pouch.
"I'm *not* the worst thing since seaweed getting stuck in the corners of your pouch?" said big icky Rolfdre Pink Thing, crashing through the wall.
"YES YES YOU ARE YOU ARE THE WORST THING SINCE JELLYFISH & CHEESE!!!!!" screamed Sassip.
"What?! JELLYFISH AND CHEESE?!" said Peter & BT coming back & being disgusted. "Why is there a pink thing again?" said BT.
"Because I LOVE him and we're going to get MARRIED!!" said Mike, escaping Sassip's pouch by a method known only to him & flinging himself at Rolfdre thing.
"WHAATTT???" said pink thing & was frightened.
"Ewww he is *NOT* me if he likes that Pink Thing!" said Sassip and sighed happily.
"I LOVE YOU PINK THING!" said Mike.
"Eww its a human that smells like chicken!" said Pink Thing.
"I am *NOT* a pink thing! I am your lovely Sea Lily!" said Mike.
"Oh ho he goes by my OLD name!" said Sassip in disgust.
"I AM SASSIP TOO!" shouted Mike and tried to punt Sassip.
Sassip giggled and wandered off laughing openly at him.
Pink Thing got scared and ran off.
"That's odd.." said Mike. "Oh well." and he ran around still on all fours and sidled up to Davy. Then he tried to eat Davy. When that didn't work he stuck Davy ih his hat for safe keeping and promptly went to sleep and made a smaller Mike sized droolpool.
"What do we do about Mike?" asked Davy from the hat. Luckily it was knitted so it was aerobic. Unfortunately it was cramped.
"It's an aerobics class?" asked Peter.
"No I meant.. ugh nevermind." said the author.
Just then MT came in all dry. "FART!" he announced and rolled off to the Tinker toy room.
"OMIGOSH!" said Al and stalked off to find LP so she could beat things.
"HOW DID HE GET DRY!? I'VE BEEN OUT HERE LONGER!" shouted Micky.
"Yes and you're still wet! TSK!" said BT, feeling his shirt.
She left him, again to his surprise and relief.
"I don't associate with soggy things!" she sneered.
Micky made a face.
"I SAW THAT!" she screeched and promptly ignored him.
"Mmmmm......" said Micky and fell asleep.
"What...?!" asked Mike and woke up suddenly.
"Oh Mike!?" asked Davy all muffled and cute like.
"OH DAVY IS IN MY POUCH YAY!" shouted Mike.
"What in the WORLD?!" said Peter.
"Mike that is a HAT!" said Al who had returned from who knows what.
"I was merely teaching LP that.." said Al but the author cut her off because Al has a potty mouth.
Mike was appalled. "Why do you keep calling me Mike!? I am NOT Mike and I do NOT have a stupid hat I have a POUCH!"
"Then why's it on your head!?" asked Micky.
"You were asleep!" said Peter.
"Yeh but that was more interesting." said Micky and went to sleep again.
"Anyway, I am!" said Mike and punted people. Only he couldn't really. He only bruised them and knocked them over.
"Why is the TV hanging out the window?" asked BT.
"Oh, Mike punted it," said Al boredly.
Suddenly Evil Al appeared and made Micky wet again, snickered evilly and disappeared again.
"Oh so THAT'S why..." said BT but Al told her to shut up quickly.
Everyone was giggling quietly.
Micky woke up. "Huh.. wha.. WHY AM I WET AGAIN!?" he shrieked.
BT was about to run over and blab but Al stepped on her foot, muted her, and rolled her into a pea and played peapong with her for the rest of the day.
"Thank you Al!" said Micky & went to sleep again.
"Oh I just love having Davy in my pouch he's so fun la la," said Mike & tra la laed around.
Sassip was horror.
"OH SHE IS HORROR!!! THE STUPID BEASTIE WHO THINKS SHE IS MEEE IS HORRORRRRRRR I MUST QUASH IT," Mike shrieked & bruised her shins frantically until Sassip stuffed him in her pouch.
"Now I have Mike *and* Davy in my pouch. I feel so snuggly," said Sassip & sat on them.
"Oh my I must make sure MT doesn't see this," said Al & poofed out to make sure he didn't.
"Oh Sassip is smugly!" said Peter.
"NO NO snuggly!! I am snugglyg," said Sassip.
"NOOOOOOOO," said Sassip & emptied her pouch violently in her frustration.
"Oh look, my bass drum I thought I lost," said BT seizing it & poofing into her mind to put it back.
"OH OH OH SHE DIPPED INTO MY LINE BUCKET AND STOLE THINGS!!!!" screamed Micky waking up.
"What're you gonna do about it, huh?? You're WET!!" said Sassip snickering evilly.
"So are you!!" Micky shot back.
"Oh I know but I am a sea beastie and everybody loves me. I am supposed to be wet. You are just an icky dry drummer thing with a weird face that looks like a thing ran over it, & nobody loves you, la la, well except for that freak but she hardly counts because I am all that matters, me me me, la la," said Sassip & packed up & left on an ego trip.
Micky made a sniffly face. "Nobody loves meeeeee?" he whinged.
"OH MICKY MICKY MICKY *I* LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!" screamed BT & flung herself at him, despite his soggy state.
"Oh ugghhhh Beeteeeee I was KIDDING," said Micky, "for cryin' out loud." And he turned his force field on.
"Ooohhhh it was lovely in Unison," said Sassip coming back with stickers stuck all over her from airports. "I got you some souvenir maracas Day-veeeeeeeeeeeee," she said & dropped them on him.
"But... but... *I* am Sassip!!!" said Mike, who had been sitting bewildered on the floor this whole time.
"No no Mike you are not. You are not Sassip. That," said Al, pointing, "is Sassip."
"When did YOU get here?" said BT shakily, finally having managed to get out of the force field. Micky was making an evil face.
"I had to protect MT from seeing Sassip being snuggly & sitting on people," Al said as if that made sense.
"OMIGOSH LOOK AT THAT FACE! BWAHAHAHA!" said Al and rolled around the city. She got some news coverage cause she caused some minor earthquakes.
"Wow look at that fat thing cause quakes!" said Davy.
"DAYYYVEEE ITS MEEE!" shouted Al, coming back in to see herself on the news. "UGH They got my wrong side, NATURALLY! SHEESH!"
"Well that's what you get for making fun of my evil face! It's EVIL!" said Micky desperately.
"Sorry Mick, it's just lame-ooooo!" said Al and plopped down on the floor. "Snigg. I caused minor quakes...."
"Ewww don't snigg its nastier than snorking or snorting or spelunking," said Davy.
"Who spelunks? No one spelunks!" said Al snitchily.
"*I* spelunked once!" said Peter all hurt like.
"AWWW POOR PITA!" said MT and poured all his sympathy and breffast serals out on Pita.
"Um,... boof.. that's.. ugh.. okay.... *urp* MT..." said Peter, ready to be sick, and leaving the premises.
"Awwww Pita no like my yum yums!" said MT, shrugged and turned on Micky who was not mobile.
"Ugh this is almost as bad as.. oh wait I AM hungry!" said Micky.
"You would be," said Al.
Mike in the meantime was running around after Davy. "Davy why don't you like meeeee anymore!" he asked, licking Davy's hair.
"Ugh Mike PLEASE! I am not Davy!" said Davy.
"What?" said everyone.
"Uh, I mean YOU are not Sassip!" said Davy.
"Oooh!" said everyone and generally ignored the rest of this exchange.
"YES YES I AM! I have flippers and a pouch! Explain that!" said Mike.
Your pouch is a hat, and your flippers are hands and feet!" said Davy exasperatedly.
Mike looked at his hands. "ACK I TURNED INTO A HUMAN AGAIN!" he shouted and ran around.
"Oh man someone do something PLEASE!" said Davy.
"I know I know I know!!" said BT jumping up and down.
Davy looked at her & sighed. "What do you know?" he asked resignedly.
"If I pretend to be Mike Mike will get jealous and go back to being him!!" she said.
Davy tried to keep a straight face but couldn't & burst out laughing & rolled around & banged into people until everyone, in a group effort, fell on him.
"Wellllll I bet it works!" said BT, & poofed into a wool hat & Mikish clothes & got a guitar & walked around talking with a terrible Texas accent & rolling off to chicken fries & pretending to be tall for about three hours until she realized it wasn't working, and everyone was laughing their tushes off at her.
"UGH," she said & went back to being normal.
"Snicker snicker you never were normal HEEHEEHA," said Micky foolishly.
"My gosh that was dumb," said Sassip & ate him.
"I WANTED TO EAT HIM!!!" said Mike.
"NO! He is not tasty or savory or scrummy and he gives you heartburn & indigestion and is unpleasant," said Sassip. "I only eat him when it is extremely necessary."
"HE IS TOO TASTY AND SCRUMMY AND SAVORY!" insisted BT.
"Oh ick she is stupid," said Mike & tried to eat her, but had to be content with stuffing her into his hat.
"Ooh it is comfy & warm in here," said BT & decided to live there for the remainder of the story.
"Mikey goed nuts," announced MT & proceeded to stickify everything in little kid fashion, when he suddenly stopped as if he had had a sudden revelation. "OH OH I AM STICKY!! I WILL TAKE A SHEEEYOWWWWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" he giggled & darted off.
"Oh my baby's growing up so fast," said Al hugging herself & looking motherly.
BT sniffed from Mike's hat & made a long speech about how she should be MT's mother, but nobody heard it.
"UGH," said Sassip & began salivating wildly.
"Oohh, NASTY!!" yelped Peter & hid behind Davy but he was short & thus of no use.
"Just because I'm short!! Everyone falls on me & mocks me & says I am of no use and and," Davy started whining.
"OOH POOR BABY!" shrieked Mike & Sassip & made for him instantly.
"EEK!! MIIIIIIKE!! Wait, that IS Mike," said Davy, lost without a Miiiiike to yell for.
"Try yelling 'MICKYYYY'!! It's fun," said BT.
"You will never seduce me to the Micky side," said Davy undauntedly.
"Seduce?? MICKY?!" said BT & poofed away to do something that nobody knew anything about, and it was probably just as well.
Micky ran in as if from nowhere.
"How did you get off my clothesline!?" Al demanded to know.
"Oh Sassip ate him long ago," said Peter.
"Oh I wasn't paying attention I was looking at um.. that thing over there..." said Al and walked off muttering things.
"Ouch.." said Mike and rubbed his head.
"What what?" said Sassip her eyes all a tingle.
"WHAT!?" said Micky.
"I dunno," said Sassip, and her eyes fizzled out.
"Okay that's just weird don't come near me!" said Micky and ran and hid behind Mike.
"OH MICKY!" said Mike.
"Don't punt me!" said Micky smally.
"Micky what's your problem?" asked Mike.
"MIKE!?" said Micky and Peter.
"Yeh?" said Mike.
"Oh, you don't think you're Sassip anymore!?"
"HUh? Why would I do a DUMB thing like that!?" asked Mike.
"HEEEYYYYY!" shouted Sassip and punted Davy who got falled on by Mike.
"LOOOK YOU GUYS! If *I* am thrown at someone gravity dictates that *THEY* get falled on!" shouted Davy in angst.
"Oh Davy is angst AND he used incorrect grammar!" said Al happily.
"Oh, Al spelled grammar right!" said Peter.
"Uh.. nothing... er.. nevermind.." said Peter and sauntered off in a haphazardly manner.
"So what is this story over already? We just started!" said Mike.
"Oh Mike...." said Davy. He winked at Mike and off they went. Everyone else shrugged and sat to watch the TV. Unfortunately they didn't quite all fit in the window sill....
Next Issue: MT looks like Davy for some odd reason which may or may not be explained in the story.