"That's what you get for beating up on poor cute Micky!" she annoyed vengefully.
"BUT HE LIKES IT!" shouted Sassip from somewhere no one could see.
"Nope. He dun!" said Micky, and picked up teensy Sassip. She squirmed around like so many frogs.
"Huh? Fwogs!?" asked MT, walking in. "OH! SASSIP FROG!" he shouted and grabbed Sassip.
"NOOOOO!" said Sassip and tried to punt MT but succeeded only in giving him a fat lip.
"SASSIP!" shouted Al and punted her across the room in the ruckus that followed.
Al grabbed MT to comfort him, Davy was holding his shins, BT was looking smug still, and Micky was trying to catch Sassip to do unspeakable horrors to her.
"HORRORS!? ON ME!?" shouted Sassip. She cringed. "I CAN'T TAKE IT I MUST PUNTPUNTPUNT!" she shouted and galloped around the pad, punting things that happened to be smaller than her.
"Hey! My book!" shouted Al.
"HEY! My nail file!" shouted Davy.
"HEY! My lightbulb!" shouted Peter.
"Huh?" said Mike.
"HEY MY ... oh wait she didn't punt anything of mine!" smirked Micky. "MY HAT!" shouted Mike as Sassip leapt up and punted the very hat off his head. Mike got mad and kicked Sassip, and then retrieved his hat. "No more Kiiccckkiiinnngg!" Sassip shrieked as she righted herself and looked around crazily for something to punt.
Davy grabbed the squirming little Sassip thing and held her out in front of him.
"Now Sassip, are you going to be a good little thing now?" he asked firmly but gently.
Sassip made a mean face. "FINE" she shouted. "BUT MAKE ME BIGGGG AGAIN!"
"Nooo way!" shouted BT and threw things at her.
"DAAAYYYVVEEE!" shouted Sassip and cringed.
"BT knock it off huh?" said Mike and kicked her.
"WARGH!" shouted BT and rolled off to a chicken fry party for juveniles.
"Oh man she's starting young.. WOUCH!" shouted Al as Mike kicked her for bad-mouthing Chicken fry parties.
"Really Mike, maybe you should go to chicken fry parties anonymous." suggested Peter who also got a swift kick to the shin. Between Sassip and Mike, they were gonna have alot of bruised and painful shins.
Al rolled off to find the rather belligerent BT and haul her bodily back to the pad as chicken fries were rather taboo and only the most stoic deadpan people could withstand their scintillating allure and coquettish backdrops.
"Gotta love the backdrops.." said Mike dreamily.
"How is a backdrop.. oh nevermind.." sighed Micky.
"Oh!" said BT and almost lunged for him but Sassip got in the way and tripped her up.
"UGH" said BT.
"GET OFFAMEEEEEE!" shouted Sassip and bit her aggressively.
"WARGHY!" shouted BT and ran around with Sassip attached to her arm firmly.
"YOUGETTTTOFFAMMMEEMEMEME!" shouted BT whacking Sassip against walls and doors. Sassip had jaws of steel and held fast.
Eventually BT had a huge bite out of her arm. "OUCH! What am I!? An apple!?" she shouted at Sassip in disgust. "Give that back!" she said, putting her arm back together.
Sassip looked throroughly grossed out and ran over to Davy.
"HEY! HELP!" she said matter-of-factly.
Davy looked at her cutely and picked her up and cuddled her.
"Oh she's like a big squishy greenyblue teddybear!" he giggled. Sassip made a face.
"NOOOOO I AM NOT HAVING FUN!" she said.
"But you LOVE me!" said Davy cutely.
"Ugh but I like it when I can eat YOUR Hair!" she huffed.
"Huh," said Davy and went to cuddle Al.
"Eek!" said Al and ran away.
Davy shrugged and followed her.
Sassip looked mad.
"HEEEEYYY!" she shouted but Davy was yanking Al's hair and pulling her around.
"What the heck!?" shouted Mike.
"That's what I want to know." said Al who had been placed in a red wagon and was being carted around by afore mentioned cute Davy.
Then the nighttime turned to night as it always does and Al turned into a boy as she was wearing the hat with the thing on it.
"OH WOW!" said BT, swooning all over the place. Al looked at her quizzically.
"Ugh, Al get out of my wagon!" shouted Davy and dumped her on the ground.
"Oop.. well YOU put me there!" said Al huffily and tried to pry BT off her leg.
"HA!" shouted Micky.
"OH!" said BT and attached to Micky.
"NOOO!" shouted Micky and punted her off onto Al again. BT shrugged and clung to Al who was still short and having a heck of a time standing up.
"OH! She... er.. HE is shorter than me!" said Davy happily.
"Ugh," said Al and sat ther with BT all over her knee.
Mike giggled and rolled around frantically.
"Hey.. where's Peter?" asked Micky suddenly.
"I thought he was with you," said Mike.
"But I'm with EVERYONE including YOU!" said Micky.
Mike looked around. "Oh, yeh you're right. My fault."
Micky made eyes at Mike and turned around.
"Hi Micky!" said Peter cheerfully.
"WARGH!" shouted Micky and fell off the couch.
"HA! I TOLD YOU HE WAS WITH YOU!" shouted Mike and had a smug look on his face.
"Hey, BT who's that guy you have there?" asked Peter.
"It's me, AL!"
"Oh.. Al? My, you look different!" said Peter.
"DUH Peter I'm a GUY."
"Oh, yeh. I knew that. Why?"
"I forgot I had on the hat with the thing on it."
"GET IT OFFFA MEEEE!" said Al running around tugging at it.
BT had fallen off in the process and was trying to decide who, if anyone, to attach herself to.
She was too confused so she attached to Mike.
Al found she could ride Sassip like a horse.
Mike found he could get Sparkplug to do tricks.
Micky found Poundcake was sleeping.
Davy found that Al was a stupid guy and was so not interested.
Sassip fell asleep and made teensy drool pools that were of no consequence to anyone.
MT was eating something no one knew what it was but suspected it was breffast serals.
BT found that the fish caught in drool pools were stringy and scrawny at best.
Sassip woke up immediately and assaulted BT. "Are you implying that my droolfish ain't good eatin'?"
"Oh...my...I think that is the most disgusting sentence I have ever heard," said Micky & looked faint.
"Um....yes, I am...droolfish are gross," said BT timidly.
"Well...well... FOOP!!" screamed Sassip & bit BT again.
"OWWWOOOOWWWW," she shrieked & made Mike fall over in the process.
"Ouch," said Mike woodenly.
"Oh egads don't say WOODENLY, it reminds me of the last story," Micky shuddered.
"Oh stop being such a wilting violet, you keep looking faint & shuddering & pretty soon you'll be asking for smelling salts," said Al & kicked him.
"Ugh," said Davy & tossed Micky out the window.
"Um...that was different," said Mike picking himself up & brushing BT off his leg.
"Uhoh. I think..." MT said uncertainly.
"What do you think?" said Al.
"I think you need breffast serals," said MT & proceeded to shovel breffast serals into Al's mouth with great energy.
BT once again glanced from Al to Micky uncertainly, and as Al was in no position to be clung to, she picked Micky, which was dumb as he has the forcefield.
"This story is SUPPOSED to be about ME," said Sassip. "Me me me me. I am the PLOT. *AL* is the *sub*plot. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT FOOPY AUTHOR THING?!"
"Yes, I know, but... you're so easily overlooked since you're short," said BT author.
"GGRRRRRRRR," said Sassip but complained no more as she knew what authors could do.
"Good girl," said the author.
"UGH," said Sassip. Then she brightened.
"I know!! I can stuff you all in my pouch & take you to my island and then the story will HAVE to be about me!!"
"No, you can't. You're small," said Micky.
"Oh. GGRRRRR!!" said Sassip & bounced off Micky's force field along with BT.
"Why does she keep growling? She never did that before..." said Davy in a perplexed tone.
"Aw you're cute when you're perplexed," said BT, & clung to Davy but he was so short they both fell over immediately.
"Well you're no fun," said BT & clung to Al, who had finished her breffast serals.
"Hey. I threw Micky out the window...how did he get back?" said Davy suspicously.
"I poofed him back here," said BT.
"Ugh, I was wondering about that," Micky said distastefully.
"I do and do and do for you people and this is the thanks I get," said BT snottily & poofed out.
"Oh good, the big story hog left," Sassip sighed in relief. "Now then," she said, stuffing Davy's shoe in her pouch, "MY story."
"'Ey!" said Davy. "My shoe!"
"Yes, Davy, it is your shoe, your perception never fails to amaze me," Mike said flatly.
Davy scowled at him & picked up Sassip.
"Al Al Al make a leash," he said evilly.
"A LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASH?!!" screeched MT.
"Not for you, honey thing," said Al, glad he had not noticed that she was a guy, & poofed up a Sassip leash.
"NOO!! DON'T PUT A LEASH ON MEEEE!!" yelled MT.
"Ugh why don't you go take a shower or something? Lil kids are always dirty," said Micky, walking around because he was so glad he could move.
MT looked completely confused. "SHEEE-YOWWWWWWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR???????????" he shrieked & fell down.
BT poofed in, neatly stepped over him, left a book on the table, & poofed out. Sassip ate the book.
"That," said Mike, "is a contender for dumb paragraph of the year."
"It wasn't a whole paragraph," said Micky.
"Well...it...oh never mind. Micky, you ever been to a chicken fry party?" said Mike.
"Um...no..." said Micky & Mike proceeded to launch into a diatribe about the virtues of chicken fry parties.
"MINE!" shrieked Sassip in fits of horror and passion and things.
"Huh?" asked Peter.
"NOOOOOO! I WANT TO BE BIG!" shouted Sassip and bruised Peter.
"OUCH!" said Peter.
"UGH," said Al. BT was attached half to her and half to Micky. Micky and Al looked at each other, winked, and kicked her off jointly.
"NOOOO!" shouted BT and grabbed a shoe.
"Oh is that MINE!?" asked Davy. "No.. it's not.." he sighed.
"DAVY I HAVE YOUR SHOE!" said Sassip neatly.
"I bet I could make you give it back!" said Davy.
Al approached Davy but Davy was disgusted and shoved her down steps.
"Huh that was rude," said Al. "Hey, where did you get steps from?"
"Uh.. dunno." said Davy.
Al sniffed and Davy snickered and made a milk water fall on her.
"UGH DAVY!" she said and poofed it away.
"I don't liek Al because he is dumb." said Davy.
"SHE!" corrected Al.
"No, you are a boy thing." said Davy matter-of-factly.
Sassip bruised Davy and shouted "I SAID I WANT TO BE BIIIIGGGGGG AGAIN SHORTY!"
Davy looked offended and kicked her. "Who the heck is short?" asked Sassip.
"YOU!" said Davy and made fun of Al some more.
Micky was making fun of Peter.
"Hey, how come you are so short?" asked Micky.
"I'm not! You're shorter than me!" said Peter.
"MAKE ME BIGGG!" shouted Sassip, bruising everyone.
"OUCH," said everyone.
"Oh eheh she's so tiny!" said Davy, poking at her. She bit him.
"AT LEAST I'M STILL A GIRL THING!!!" Sassip shrieked.
"Ooowwwwwwwww," said Davy wincing. "MIIIIIIIKE!!!" "HERE I AM, MONKEE-MAN!!!" Mike shouted, appearing out of nowhere in full costume.
"I'm SAVED!!!" cried Davy.
"Oh, please," said Al.
Micky looked Peter over carefully. "No, I think I'm taller than you."
"Micky, you KNOW I'm taller than you are!" Peter protested.
"Well...well... YOU didn't ... um...argh," said Micky & stalked off to do who knows what.
"Ooh!!! Mike is a Monkeeman thing," said BT swooning on Al's feet.
"Get off," said Al & punted her across the room.
"NO NO NO NO NO NO *I* WANT TO PUNT IT IS MY JOB YOU MUST NOT DISPLACE ME FROM MY IMPORTANT POSITION IN THE PUNTING CABINET!!!" Sassip shrieked breathlessly.
"Aw, wookit the wittle sea monster thing," said MT, coming in all sticky.
"I told you to take a-" Micky started, following him.
"SHEE-YOWWWWWWERRRRRRRR????????????" screeched MT.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwww," said everyone & stuck their fingers in their ears.
"We already DID that in this story," said BT, attaching herself to Mike, who looked down, acknowledged her, and proceeded to totally ignore her.
"Well...hey, so what... aren't you gonna save me?" said Davy.
"Oh, well I already did," Mike said staunchly.
"Ah," said Davy, in a tone that let everyone within twenty miles know that he totally did not comprehend.
"MIIIKE!! Kick me offfffff," said BT.
Mike blinked. "Why?"
"Because I'm irritating."
"Whatever," said Mike & let her have it. She sailed across the continent and in fact left it entirely and was seen sometime later in Thailand, digging for clams. (She is not very smart.)
"What was that???!!!" said Al.
"Oh clams are good I like clams, gimme some," said Sassip, trying to crawl up Davy's pants leg.
"Ewwww stop that," said Davy & picked her up by her tail.
"PUT ME DOWNNNNNNNN," Sassip yelped & tried to punt Davy but only succeeded in whacking him lightly.
"Mine!! I want her she is my new pet thing ever since BT is not a cat," said MT & seized Sassip & began to squeeze the life out of her.
Al promptly turned BT into a cat.
"HEY!!!!" BT protested & proceeded to scratch up the furniture terribly. "I get back from Thailand ALL by myself in DEFINITELY no less than 45 seconds, and you make me a CAT?!!!"
"Yep," said Al flatly.
"Oh. You suck, man," said BT & poofed out.
"Excuse me, but I haven't had any lines in awhile," said Peter.
"You just did," said Micky.
"Oh. Well, that explains that!" Peter said, beaming.
"Oh, man!" said Davy slapping his forehead.
"What?" said everyone.
"We didn't have morning poundcake today!!"
"Davy," said Micky, tapping him on the shoulder. "Today is PANcake day. We have morning PANcakes today."
"Oh...I forgot," said Davy sheepishly.
"OOHHH DAVY IS SHEEPISHLY," said Sassip, trying desperately to squirm out of MT's grasp, but of course couldn't.
BT poofed back & sat on the floor, swishing her tail back & forth, regarding Sassip clamly. "Now YOU know how it feels," she sniffed.
"OOH!! CLAMLY!! I WANT ME SOME CLAMS," Sassip yelped, this newfound incentive giving her the adrenalin necessary to flop out of MT's death grip & onto the floor.
"I meant calmly," said BT.
"Oh," said Sassip dejectedly & was quickly regained by the five-year-old Micky thing.
"He is not a Micky thing," said Micky.
"Yes he is," said BT.
"No I am a Micky thing, he just LOOKS like a Micky thing. There is only one Micky thing and it was me."
"IS. It IS me."
"HUH?!" said Peter, clearly confused.
"Oh, we don't get it either," BT said.
"Good grief, EVERYONE in this story keeps saying 'OH'!!" shouted Poundcake from the fridge, but nobody heard him.
"Poundcake from the fridge," Al snorted. "As opposed to Poundcake from the blender?"
"YEAH!!!" shouted Poundcake but was again not heard.
"I want clams.." said Sassip, urking.
"Why are you urking?" asked Mike.
"Because he SQUISHES MY LIVER!" shouted Sassip.
"Oh. Okay. Hey Davy, what say you and me go out and try and save the world huh?" asked Mike, grabbing Davy and escorting him to the back room to change into his Monkeeman suit.
"But Mike, I dun wanna!" Davy was heard to gripe.
Mike locked him in the room and trailed out. "You better be out by the count of three or..." said Mike, but Davy was out before 2.
"Wow you were fast!" said Mike, beaming at him.
Davy glared. "You were going to threaten poundcake you always threaten poundcake its cause I'm short.." he was muttering.
Mike shrugged and Davy grinned and ate some poundcake. Mike took a piece and they shared it and then they tried to get more but Al was a boy and didn't want to cook because it was a girl thing to do and they said it wasn't cooking but Al was a boy and was dumb. So they shrugged.
"Up up and AWAAAYYY!" shouted Davy and flew up about 3 feet until Mike yanked him down by the cape.
"Yeowch! What gives?!" Davy asked sheepishly.
"Well, man, there's a wall there.. see? You'll just crash through." said Mike.
"Oh wow Mike you SAVED me!" shouted Davy and clung to Mike.
"Oh for the love of poundcake..." said Micky and Peter and Al and BT the cat and Sassip. MT grinned and offered breffast serals.
"Davy, please get off..." said Mike quietly.
Davy let go of Mike and ran around him in little circles.
"DAVY!" shrieked Micky. Davy grinned and ran around Micky.
"I think Davy go whonky woo and need breffast serals!" said MT, dropping Sassip and cramming 2 boxes down Davy's throat.
Davy sobered up quickly.
"Come, Mike, there is evil doing to thwart and goodness to promote healthy teeth and gums!"
"Uh.. whatever you say Babe!" said Mike, smiling dumbly to himself and following Davy out the door.
Suddenly Babbit burst in. "What's with all the yelling and screaming and funky looking people in tights!?" he shouted angrily.
"Well you see Mr. Babbit.." said Micky, turning red.
"WHAT!? PETS? A giant... lizard.. thing.... that.. uh.. a CAT you have a cat and a giant.. lizard.. thing..."
"I'm a sea monster!" said Sassip evilly and ran up to him and bruised him on the shin.
"She's lethal!" said Peter with a sympathetic look on his face. His own shins were still sore and highly sympathetic.
"Gee, I wonder how Mike and Davy's shins are doing? Everyone knows you can't save the city with bruised shins!" said Micky.
"He's right you know." said Al.
BT was attached to Al now because Micky was being philosophical or something.
"Am not!" Micky said, poutily.
"You are too!" said Al and soon they were in a big dogpile on the floor.
"UGH AL IS ALL BOYOYOYISH!" she shouted, while being pummeled by accident.
Mike flew back in all dusty and dirty and tired looking.
BT crawled out of the fray with her hair all messed up and her glasses turned into pretty curly cued flowers.
"FEEYYYLLLOOOWWWEERRRS?!" shouted MT.
"What?!" shouted everyone.
Al stopped fighting and calmly detached herself from Micky who was still under the delusion that there was another lad in the fray with himself.
Al walked over to MT and patted him on the back. "It's okay honey, we'll get you cleaned up in no time...."
Al and MT slowly walked away, when all of a sudden Micky pounced on the spot previously occupied by Al.
"AAAHHH MICKY!" shouted BT because he was the only one left to swoon over.
"What about Mike? He's still in Monkeeman garb!" said Peter.
"Don't confuse me!" growled BT and slunk off to her room because she was confused.
"Is she still a cat? I can't tell?" asked Peter.
Micky made faces. "Of course she's not. Unfortunately."
"MEMEMEMEMEMEE" shouted Sassip.
"And *ME*!" shouted Babbit.
"OMIGOSH BABBIT!" shouted Peter and Micky.
"YES! What is with the PETS!? And where did that girl cat thing.. oh my.. I have to lie down.." said Babbit and staggered off again.
"Wasn't that dumb?" said Micky.
"Yes," said Peter.
"Oh. Well. Are we the only people left here?"
"No, I'm here," said Mike.
"Where's Davy?" said Peter.
"Davy?" said Micky.
"Davy?" said Mike.
"MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" said Sassip.
"Davy?" said Peter.
"How come YOU'RE back and Davy's not?" said Micky suspiciously.
Sassip looked horrified. "OMIGOSH I BET HE ATE DAVY!! *OOH NOOOO I'M HORRORR*!!!" she cried & bounced around in GREAT discomfort.
"I did NOT," said Mike.
"Nope he's all skinny, hee hee," said BT & attached herself to him again, which looked really silly. Anyway.
"Well why isn't he back?" said Sassip, not satisfied.
"He probably wanted to stay for awhile... I TOLD him to get a doggie bag but he wouldn't listen."
"Where did you GO?!" cried Micky.
Mike suddenly looked very secretive & said, "Nowhere, just nowhere, excuse me I've got to go change," he said, kicking BT off unceremoniously & disappearing.
"I wish Al were here," said Peter.
"I am here," said Al.
"You weren't a minute ago."
"Yeh but I am now."
"I AM TOOOO," shrieked MT & sat on BT, & everyone was happy. Because BT is like a comfy chair. Tra la la.
"WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEE??????!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sassip screamed.
"Oh, right," said BT the author & made Sassip her normal size.
"And me," said Al, looking ticked.
"Oh, well you're wearing the hat with the thing on it, you gotta wait til morning," said BT author thing & ended the story right there.
Really it is. I swear.
Next Issue: Will Davy ever be found? Is Loretta still going out with Carl? What will Vince say when he finds out Denise is pregnant...with Travis' baby? Does Jackie know Dana killed Fabio? For the answers to these & so many more questions, write your own freakin' story, these are the Al & BT Chronicles.
Sorry, Al should have known better than to let BT write the next issue blurb. What REALLY happens is that MT & Micky switch ages. Tra la.