"What's this doing here? What's it say?" said Davy, rubbing it with his hand to get off the dust. "Bean can eh?"
BT suddenly popped out amidst beans. "ACK! DAVY! YOU SAVED ME!" she shouted happily.
"What you doing in that can eh?" said Davy, staring at the can and then at BT. "And 'ow'd you get it open without a canopener?!"
BT made the worst face. "Al made me a genie and whoever picked up the can would be my master but you did Davy and now you can freeee meeee!" said BT.
Davy looked bewildered. "Ooooh.. a genie eh.. hey. That means.. WISHES!"
BT looked horrified. "Davy you wouldn't!" she sighed.
"HOORRRROOORRR SOMEONE'S HORRRROORRRR DAVY MOVE!" shouted Sassip and punted BT into the wall.
Sassip, looking pleased at having dispersed the horror, bounced out to the sea happily.
BT resolidified as she had melted to try and deaden the blow of the wall. It didn't but she thought it would.
"So.. you HAVE to grant me anything I want huh?" asked Davy, with a big cute smile on his face.
"No no Davy you have to wish me freeeeeeeeeeeee!" said BT, then being enthralled by his cute smile began to poke at his face.
"Don't do that." Davy said.
"But but.. you ARE going to set me free right!?!?" said BT hopefully.
"Maybe.. but I want some things first." said Davy. Then he stopped. "Oh!" he said happily and a milk waterfall appeared over BT's head.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted BT.
"Hehe I forgot about that!" said Davy and giggled. BT was forced to follow him as her can was in his hand.
BT sighed. "Look Davy thingy sweetie cute thing-"
"WHAT?" said Davy. Sassip glowered.
"LOOK DAVY THINGY. I can give you thingggssss if you set me freeeeee, I promise I willl," BT said weirdly.
"Oh, she is weirdly," Sassip said in a bored tone & flicked her idly with a flipper.
"Cut that out," said BT.
"Knock it off?"
"DON'T DO THAT."
"Okay," said Sassip & went to swim.
"I wish...I wish...erm....I think I should think," Davy said & sat down to think.
"Oh geez, he's THINKING," BT said & sat down with a flop & a sigh.
"A flop and a sigh???" said Sassip, sticking her head in the doorway. "Did someone flop & sigh?"
"No," said Davy & BT.
"Oh, alright then, swimming time," said Sassip & left.
Mike walked in with a bucket.
"Mike! Why do you have a bucket?" BT said enthusiastically & then quizzically.
Mike opened his mouth as if to tell BT why he had a bucket, but he suddenly looked horribly confused. "You know, I don't know."
"Hey, Mike! What should I wish for?" said Davy.
"Huh?" said Mike.
"Oh, BT is a genie in a bean can and she can give me wishes," Davy said as if this sort of thing happened every day.
Mike stared at Davy, & then back at BT.
"He is whonky & won't set me free," BT pouted.
"'Ey, I'm not whonky, take that back," said Davy.
"Don't wanna," said BT & stuck her tongue out.
"Y'all are whacked," said Mike & rolled himself orff to who knows where.
"Daaaavyyyyy PLEEEEEEEEEASE lemme freee thingy," BT whined.
"Oh, stop whining!!" said Davy.
"Ugh," said BT.
"I know!!" Davy said brightly. "I wish Sassip was a girl!"
BT looked utterly disgusted. "She IS a girl."
"No no no a HUMAN girl," Davy explained.
BT sighed. "Oh, okay." Then she got an evil glint in her foopy little eye & did a somersault.
"What'd you do that for? Where's my wish?"
"Well you know how some genies have smoke & lights & nodding and stuff, and I have to do a somersault. I don't know why, it's just the way I am. If you want a wish, I gotta somersault," BT explained. "I made her a girl."
"Well where is she???" Davy said impatiently.
"She's out swimming, of COURSE," BT explained patiently.
Just then a really loud shriek came from outside & Sassip came running in.
"WHAT HAPPENED???!!!" she shouted.
Davy looked horrified. "SASSIP?!" he exclaimed.
"You didn't say how old you wanted her to be," said BT.
"I'M A SIX-YEAR-OLD!! Why am I a six-year-old??" Sassip demanded.
BT shrugged nonchalantly. "Davy wished it, not meee."
Sassip looked at Davy. "WHHHYYY!?" she shrieked and rolled around on the ground.
Micky walked in and looked at her. "Who's the chick?"
"MICKY!" shrieked BT but when she went to run for him the bean can polarity of genieness pulled her back. "WAAHHH!"
Davy was too intently staring at Sassip to notice BT was whirling at him at his speeds. She smacked him to the floor.
"Ugh, BT! I wish Sassip were back to being a sea monster!" he said.
BT giggled and turned her back with a somersault.
Unfortunately she was standing in the door and so she was stuck.
"EEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPP!" shouted Sassip and thrashed around.
"OMIGOSH! BBBTTTTTT!" shouted Davy.
BT sighed. "YOU SAID!" she huffed.
Sassip ate her and that was that.
"No no I need her for more wishes! Behold the bean can!" said Davy.
"Oh alright already!" said Sassip and spit BT into the bean can. BT went in huffily.
"No no BT you have to get Sassip out of the door and back to normal. And NO tricks you know what I mean!" said Davy.
BT popped out did a somersault and Sassip was back to her customary position in the pad.
"It just occured to me how she gets outside in the first place?" asked Mike who had watched the whole thing silently.
"Nobody asked you!" said Sassip who was apparently highly put off with this question as she didn't know the answer.
Peter walked in and took the bean can from Davy. It zapped him and BT.
"OUCH!" said BT.
"Uh. here Mick.." said Peter.
"MICKY!?" said Davy.
"DAVYYY?!" said Micky.
It zapped Micky and BT.
"GIMME that!" said Davy and grabbed it.
"Sheeeesh!" said Micky and walked off to talk to Poundcake.
"Why does that can zap people?" asked BT. "I don't want Davy I want Mickyy!"
Everyone looked at her funnily.
"You know what I mean!" she glared.
Just then MT grabbed the can and try to spill its contents onto some cereal.
"Nooooo! MT nooo! It'll zap you!" said Micky.
But it did nothing of the sort.
"I childproofed it." declared Al coming down the steps.
"Oh geez," said Micky.
"Well well well.. you know.. hmm.." said Davy.
"What do you want?" BT said. "Not another wish. PLEASE!"
But Davy mulled it over a bit. "Yes I wish Al were cuter."
"Noo you don't want THAT wish!" said Al.
"Oh yes yes I do!" said Davy. BT made a face and grinned stupidly.
"See that she's gonna do something awful cancel it caannncceeelll ittt!" said Al pointing.
But BT somersaulted and Al thought she was a kid again.
"OHHH!" said Micky and picked her up and took her away, followed closely by MT.
"BTTT!" shouted Davy angrily.
"What? She's cute now!" giggled BT.
"Ugh. I'm going to think up the best biggest wish that you can't spoil!" said Davy and made BT go back into her can so he could mull it over.
"Wish for pound cake," suggested Pita.
"When did you get here??" said Davy.
"Awhile ago, 'cause I handed the can to Micky, and-"
"Why is the author referring to you as Pita??"
"Why am I Pita?"
"'Cause you're cuuuute."
"Hmm...I've got to wish for something BT can't mess up."
"I can only think of one wish she wouldn't mess up, and Micky would kill you and besides you wouldn't wish that," said Peter.
Davy looked disgusted. "Seriously..."
"Oh, he's cute," said Al popping in & then disappearing with the Micky-looking people again. "It's a good thing there are only two Micky people," said Peter.
The can clattered but Peter ignored it until Davy rubbed it and BT popped out.
"PREMONITION!!!!" shouted BT & then Davy put her back in the can.
"That made less sense than anything in any story we've ever been in," commented Mike.
"Mike! What's a wish BT can't possibly mess up?" Davy said, jumping up.
"Cutelyyy," said Al sticking her head in the door & being dragged off by MT who was saying something about breffast serals and tinker toys.
Mike thought. "You could wish for a box."
"Because...oh well I dunno," said Mike & sat down plop on the floor.
"Mike sat down," said Peter.
"UGH," said Davy & walked out on the beach until it was cold so he walked back in.
"Beaches aren't supposed to be cold," he said wandering into the kitchen, where Al, Micky, & MT were sitting around a big table.
"What are you DOING?" said Davy incredulously.
"Oh, we're making...um, what are these again?" said Micky.
"Macaronicools," said MT.
"Uh, yeah. See, you take these toothpicks & gumdrops, & some marshmallows, and-" Micky started.
"No no I know HOW, but WHY?" said Davy.
"'Cause it's tasty," said Al popping three marshmallows in her mouth.
Davy looked thoughtful and ate a gumdrop. "Wish," he said & walked off.
Al stared after him. "Why .........?" she said, and looked confused.
"Uh, its okay Al, Davy's off his rocker." said Micky reassuringly.
"Davy has rocker!?" shouted MT, leaping up to go find it.
"MT loves rockers!" said Al pointing and laughing at him.
"NOOOO! I don't!" said MT poutily.
"YESS YOU DOO! I saw you you rocked and rocked and rocked and rocked!" said Al accusingly.
"Oh okay." said MT with a big fat smile and began stuffing breakfast cereals down Micky and Al's throats at alarming speeds. "YOU NEED MORE BREFFAST SERALS!" he said in a disturbed voice.
Davy was watching this affair in mock horror and then decided it was too violent for him.
"They should rate that scene R," he muttered and wandered into Mike.
"Hey." said Mike in deadpanned-stoicness.
"Hiya Mike!" said Davy enthusiastically.
"Now hwhy did you do that?" asked Mike.
"Oh, um... I dunno. I like you Mike!" said Davy happily.
"I like you too babe. Now out of my way. I've gotta roll!" said Mike.
"Why!? Why you gonna roll Mike!? Why?!"
"I gotta roll man! Off to a chicken fry party! Man! Lemme at it!" said Mike and rolled off much to Davy's dismay.
"SOMEONE'S HORROR!" shouted Sassip.
"No no you're too late!" said Davy grimly and rubbed the can.
"YESS?!" BT nearly shrieked in a horribly annoyed voice.
"I want. I wish that I had a lot of poundcake!" said Davy.
BT somersaulted and went back into her can.
Davy woke up to find a rather HUGE poundcake on him.
"Ugh someone help!" he whispered.
"DAVY POUNDCAKE!" shouted Al and giggled loudly.
"OOOH MAN!" said Micky and MT, him and Al began to scarf the poundcake off Davy.
"And now for the toy surprise! Oh.. it's only a Davy. We already have one of them!" said Micky dissappointedly.
MT shrieked happily and Al giggled at Cute Davy.
"I LOVE HIM! CAN I KEEP 'IM DADDDDYY!?" she shrieked in Micky's ear.
"Um.. sure I guess..." said Micky not caring.
Al picked up Davy and carried him to the couch and began to spoon feed him morning poundcake.
"Wha ack *cough cough* Don't DO that!" he said, getting up.
"Ooooh Davvvvvvyyy!" said Al and ran off giggling stupidly to find MT.
"That was TRULY disturbing," said Micky staring after her.
Davy looked terrified. "YOU think it was DISTURBING? That was the most horrif-"
"HORROR!! HORRROOOOORRR," Sassip screeched bouncing in. Then she looked at Davy anxiously. "Was I on time?"
"Yes," Davy said wryly.
"Okay," said Sassip and left.
"I can't think of a wish," Davy said blankly.
"Why not," said Micky just as blankly.
"Be-cause," said Davy the same way.
"UGH," said Micky.
"What'd you say that for?" said Davy.
Davy's bean genie can began to shake violently. He ignored it & stuffed it in his pocket.
"Why don't you wish her to oblivion?" suggested Micky.
Davy perked up a bit. "Well, nah, it'd probably mess up Pita's mind."
"You could wish her mute," said Micky.
"I want something for ME!" said Davy. "Sadistic freak."
"Am not," said Micky in a hurt tone.
"See, there he goes with the hurting and the tones and-" Mike said rolling in.
"MIKE!! What is with the rolling??!!" Micky said in an exasperated voice.
"I just LOVE it," said Mike & rolled out of the room.
"Anyway I'M not sadistic. That fooper you've got in that can is sadistic," said Micky pointing at Davy's pocket.
"NOOOO she's not in the can, she's...hmm you know the kids have been awfully quiet..." Micky said suspiciously. "You know what it means when kids get quiet."
Davy looked blank.
Micky sighed. "It means they're up to nooo good."
Davy looked at Micky funny.
"UGH," said Micky & went off to find Al & MT coloring all over the wall of Peter's mind with crayons. Davy sat & thought.
"I've GOT it!!" Davy said & emptied BT's can.
"Whaaatttt??" said BT jumping all over because it was really cramped in there. "UGH did Micky leave? I WAAANT HIM!!" she shrieked & got stuck in her can's boundary.
"Yes, he left, and he said to tell you that you're a sadistic fooper. Well, he didn't, but I thought I'd pass it along," said Davy evilly. "Now then. I have a wish."
"Oh, do you?" said BT suddenly all smiles & big innocent eyes.
"Oh, knock it off. Now DON'T mess this one up," said Davy.
BT looked at him innocently & poofed up a halo over her head.
"Ugh," said Davy taking it off her & throwing it away. "Now then. I wish-"
"Quit saying Now then," said BT.
Davy ignored her. "I WISH...that I were taller. But only about-"
"OKAY!" said BT & Davy was thirteen feet tall.
"WAAAAAAGH?!" he said confusedly & poofed into Peter's mind with BT & the genie can, because it was roomier there.
"You said make you taller, you didn't say how much," said BT plaintively.
"BUT...I WAS!! YOU INTERRUPTED ME!" said Davy.
"Children, children!" said Micky indignantly, walking in.
"WEEE AAAREN'T KIIIIIIIDS," shrieked BT.
"Well, one of you isn't," said Micky dryly. "The foopers colored all over the walls man! And I can't wash it off! Man, soap just doesn't-"
"POOF it off," said Davy. "Oh wait, did you try milk waterfalls?"
Micky looked disgusted. "NO RUNNING WITH SCISSORS," he said and left.
"Oh well he is a dumb fooper but I still love him," BT said after a bit.
"I don't care. Make ... undo this, or, NO, don't. Where's Al?" said Davy.
"Micky just said, she-"
"No she needs to be her again now," said Davy.
BT sniffed in comtempt. "Well then wish it!" she said.
"I wish Al were exactly the way she was before you made her "'cute.'" said Davy.
BT smiled and then frowned. She couldn't think of any good way to foop that one up.
"I HATE YOU DAVY!" she shrieked and made Al normal again.
Al reeled into the room and looked a bit unkempt. "UGH LEMME AT BT!" she shouted.
"EEP!" said BT and poofed into her can.
Al grabbed the can from Davy and played wall-ball with it for 5 hours straight and then had Davy rub the can. BT came out a total wreck.
"HAHAHAH!" said Al and poofed off in a huff.
"Well she showed you.." said Davy. "Anyway, MAKE ME SHORT AGAIN! No no no. I wish *I* were exactly the way I was before you made me tall!"
BT sighed and did it amidst her horrid headache.
"WEHEHEHEHEHE!" said Davy and danced around happily.
"Oh brother. Now. What other wish do you have for me?" she asked evilly.
"UGH I wish you weren't a genie anymore ugh ugh ugh!" said Davy, and then went wide-eyed with surprise. "NO! No no I mean.. OH MAN!"
But it was too late. BT leaped and frolicked happily and kicked the can away. And thus was the advent of the game Kick the Can.
P.S. no it's not, it's a lie. The can thing you know. It's really not.
Next Issue: Micky figures out he can control Al with their weird mind readingy thing and proceeds to foop things up for everyone else til they realize and pummel him horridly.