"WHAT is up with him, man?" asked Mike, who had been nurturing his sparkplug.
"I dunno." said Davy and Sassip, who had been watching the whole thing with much interest.
"WAAAHH!" said MT.
"What!?" said BT, a bit put off. "Is something wrong baby Micky look alike thing?"
"WAAAHHH!" said MT again.
"Speak boy! You can do it!" said Sassip stupidly.
"Don't do that!" said BT. She looked MT over for any attack marks or anything.
"AL! What did you do?!" she snapped at Al.
Al stopped running around like a nut to look at her evilly. "NOTHING. What did YOU do to him!? Try and make him more Mickyish? ARGH I GOT MICKY DROOL ON MEEEEEEEEE!"
"MT...did you eat somethin' weird? I mean, weirder than usual?" BT said, feeling his forehead.
"YOU should talk! Fish, pickle, and LASGNA?! Sheesh, you fooper," Al said.
BT ignored her. "Well?"
MT just looked at her, and then grinned widely & made a burbly sound.
"Uhhh...MT, can you do me a favor and SAY something? Say MOOMMY!!!!"
MT spit up on BT's shoulder.
"OH GAAAHHH EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!!!!" BT said & ran around in a circle clawing at her shirt.
"What?!" said Micky & Davy.
"HE SPIT UP ON MEEEEEEEE," BT shrieked & poofed up a giant wad of paper towels & started scrubbing at her sleeve.
Mike & Al laughed & giggled & snorked & did silly things.
BT shot them one of her patented Death Glares & poofed a new shirt on.
"He's like he's one year old or something..." Davy said.
"He's not even six months old," Micky pointed out.
"NOOOOOOO," BT said disgustedly. "Not how old I MADE him, how old he thinks he is. He's supposed to be twenty-one anyway...then he was like seven or something. And now he's TEENSY-WEENSY, WAAHHH WHY?!"
MT crawled over to BT & spit up on her shoe.
"NOOOO YOU STOP THAT!!" BT picked him up as best she could & handed him to Micky. "Here, be his father while I go & put on some spit-up-proof crap, or somethin'..."
Micky looked terrified & backed away from MT, who just sat on the floor in a benign little lump.
"But why?" said Davy. "WHY?!?!?!"
"No no no, you say 'how' like that. Not why," Al corrected him.
"Oh...oops...well...hmm. HOW did this happen?? HOW???!!!!," he said & giggled.
"Much better," Al said approvingly.
BT returned & handed out shiny spit-up-proof suit things around. Everyone looked at them in disbelief & poofed them away. "BT, that's DUMB," said Al.
"But it's GICKY!!!" said BT in her 'oh that's gross' voice.
"You have an 'oh that's gross' voice?" Mike said with interest.
"Hmm...I shouldn't...ooh, must talk to the writers. Anyway...uh...Al, can you like poof MT back to normal or somethin' now, 'cause this idn't funny."
"Nope, tried," said Al.
"Well, foop, you suck," said BT, & went to sulk in the corner.
"Oh, you always sulk in the corner, do something USEFUL," Sassip said.
"You were not asked," BT said snippily & sat.
"She sat," pointed out Peter uselessly.
Suddenly & completely without warning, MT burst into tears & just sat in the floor crying over and over again and not shutting up.
"FEEEEEEED HIIIIMMMMM!!" said Mike.
"FEED HIM WHAT?!" said BT, covering her ears.
"ANYTHING!" said Davy.
"Feed him Micky," Peter suggested.
"OKAY!" BT agreed happily, slung Micky over her shoulder & started over to MT with him.
"NO NO PUT ME DOWN!!! Hey what'm I yellin' for, she's much smaller than me," Micky said & jumped up & ran away because he was scared of everybody.
MT continued whinging away at about 20,000 decibels.
"Al?" BT said helplessly.
"Dunlookamee, he's YOUR kid."
BT made the worst face and ran over to Peter.
"PEEETTTEEERRRR!" she shrieked.
Peter fell over from MT and BT shrieking.
"Piiitttaaaa?" gurgled MT.
"YES YES YOU CAN SPEAK!" said BT, running over to him. He promptly spit up some more goo.
"WHERE DO THESE THINGS GET ALL THE GOO THEY SPIT UP!?" she shouted and proceeded to get grossed out.
MT burbled happily and shrieked with laughter at Mommy freaking out.
"Oh, it's working! Keep it up BT!" said Sassip stupidly.
"Shut up Sassip!" said BT.
Sassip smacked BT with a huge flipper.
"WARGH!" shouted BT and poofed out before she hit the wall.
"OUCH!" said Peter falling over.
BT returned with her hair all funky and her glasses in a state of disarray.
"Don't.. dooo that..." she said, staggering over to Sassip and wagging a fist at her, shakily.
Sassip giggled and was about to bat BT away again when Davy tsked her.
"So, anyway, what we gonna do?" he asked.
"I dunno." said Al, who picked up MT.
"NOOOO AL HE'S A SPITUP MACHINE!" shrieked BT, as if MT would explode spit up or something.
"Aw, no he's a cutie he is!" said Al, and sat him on her lap. MT gurgled and spurbled but no spit up anywhere.
"OOH MINE!" shouted BT, seeing how clean he was. He proceeded to giggle sillily and spit up wads on BT.
"ARGGHH YOURS!" said BT and flung him onto Al.
"Doooo you like your rattle?! Dooo you like your little rattle!? Oooh look at his iggy piggy jiggly lil eyeballs!" said Al stupidly.
"GURGLE!" said MT happily.
"I thought so!" said Al.
"PIIITTAA" shouted MT.
Peter walked over and began to play with MT as well.
"Ergh." said BT, and grabbed MT. He spit up some more on her.
"WHAT THE HECK?!" she shrieked and handed him back to Pita.. I mean Peter.
Al laughed evilly at BT. "He doesn't like you HAHAHAA."
BT looked hurt and spit up on and sulked.
"There she goes again!" said Sassip.
"Quiet you!" said Davy.
Sassip batted Davy across the room. He bashed into the wall.
"SASSSSIIIPPP!" he whinged until Sassip kissed it and made it better.
"POUCH TIME!" she announced happily.
"NOOOOOO!!!!" shouted everyone and ran away from her.
MT got down from Peter's lap and crawled over to Mike.
"Man, I wish MT would grow up!" he said.
"Mmmm!" said MT at Mike.
Mike looked at him. "Hey, what are you doing?"
"MMMMM!!" said MT. Mike backed away. "I wish I were a figment man!" he said dumbly.
"So'sm I!" said MT happily.
"Darnit why did I say that? I really don't. Oh well... wonder how the sparkplug is coming along..." Mike mused and went back outside.
"So'sm I!" said MT again.
"What!?" said Al and Peter.
"He means So am I." said BT.
"Well that doesn't make any sense." said Davy.
"Well he's like 2 or something!" said Sassip.
"Oh yeh. Want some poundcake?" said Davy.
"YUM!" said Sassip and at poundcake, Davy and all.
"NO NO NO!" Davy was heard to say.
Sassip spit him out. MT thought she was spitting up. He then proceeded to spit up lots.
"BLARGH!" said Al and was sick all over the floor.
"No, Al, you can't be sick. You haven't eaten anything yet!" said Peter.
"Right Pita!" said Al.
"Don't call me that." said Peter.
"K." said Sassip.
"I wasn't talking to you!"
"Oh," said Davy.
"Nevermind." said Peter.
"RIGHT!" said everyone, except MT.
"LOOK ENOUGH THROWING UP!!!" said Micky loudly.
BT proceeded to jump up on his shoulders & sit.
"Get down now please."
MT giggled and thought this was the funniest thing in the world & rolled around the floor bumping into everything & everyone. Sassip thought he was something crunchy & ate him.
"SASSIP!!" cried Peter in a horrified tone. "YOU SPIT HIM OUT NOW!!"
Sassip looked guilty & did so. MT giggled & spit up all over everyone, & then started crying.
"AUGH I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!" BT shrieked.
"Whaaaaa-t?" said everyone.
"HIM AND THE SPIT UP AND EVERYONE AND ALL THIS AND THE FIGMENT AND AL AND POTIONS AND MICKY AND NEVER AND OHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOAWIHEGOWEAHGAOGW!!" she yelled & stomped around & threw herself on the floor & threw a ROYAL giant hissy fit.
Everyone stared at her.
"STOP STARING AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," she screamed at the top of her lungs & poofed out.
"Well, that's one less problem to deal with," said Micky, walking over to MT & wiping him off with a paper towel he didn't know where he got it.
"Bbllblbrlrblrlbrlbb," said MT more or less happily.
"Uhhhhhh, yeah," Micky said uncertainly, & put him on the couch. "Hey, quit lookin like me, willya?"
MT stuck his fingers in his mouth, curled up in a ball, & fell asleep.
"Ssssshhhhhhhhhhhh," said Al, & they all poofed into Peter's mind.
"What're we gonna do?" said Davy & Mike & Peter & Micky all at the same time.
"Nothing," Al said very calmly.
"NOTHING??!!" Micky said incredulously.
"Erm, no, what I mean is, we *can't* do anything so we have to fix it," said Al.
"Al, that doesn't make any sense," Mike said.
"You're right, it doesn't," Al admitted.
"*Why* does he think he's a kid? I mean, a little kid? I mean-" Davy started.
"A baby," Peter filled in.
"Yeah, a baby! You must be joking."
"Why'd you say THAT?" said Micky.
"Because I haven't said it yet."
"Well," Al mused, "he never got to be a baby before he decided he was a little kid, so maybe he's regressed or something, I dunno."
"Or maybe he's just EVIL," said the voice of BT.
"Hey, where..." Peter said.
"She's over there pretending to be a pile of pistachio nuts & bird seed," said Al, & stepped on one of the piles.
"EEEYOOOWWWWWW!!" it shrieked, & turned itself into BT.
"Doooon't do thaaaaaat!"
Al sniffed and sat down. "We have to make MT see that its better to be an "adult"" said Al.
BT sniffed and ran around plowing a furrow in the seed and nuts.
"Don't do that!" said Davy and Micky who were dizzy.
"HOW?!" said Mike.
"No, that's my line." said Davy, taking it back.
"HOW!?" said Davy and giggled.
"Well, uh, I dunno." said Al and looked stumped.
"Ohhh like a stump!" said BT evilly and turned Al into a tree stump.
"NO NO NO!" said Al poofing back.
She poofed into the pad.
"Ah, okay. Hi MT, how are you today?" said Al.
MT cried and burbled.
"Oh, well that's ashame isn't that!?" said Al.
MT made a face and gurgled angrily.
"Oops, well you better do something about that huh?!" said Al.
Davy and Sassip had popped in.
"Oh, uh yeh, You better!" said Davy.
MT looked at him. "Indeed!" said Sassip.
MT burbled unhappily again in the form of a question.
"No!" said BT.
"What?" said Mike.
"I can't understand you!" said Sassip.
"I can!" said Peter.
"Okay, I can't!" said Peter.
Finally MT got annoyed. "PIITTAA! I WANT A BFPL!" he whined.
"Oh, well, only good little BOYS get them!" said BT huffily.
MT looked scared. "Mooommeeee!?" he whined.
"Yes, MT?" BT said.
"Well.. why can't I be a baby?!"
"Because being a BIG boy is much better isn't it?!" said BT.
"No it's more fun to be a baby!" said MT.
"No, it's not, because no one can understand you and you are deeesgusting!" said BT. "If you keep being gross and baby like Mommy will not be able to feed you BFPL anymore!"
MT whined and whined and promised.
"GOOD boy!" said BT and gave him a sandwich.
And so it was that MT stopped acting like a big baby.
Next Issue: Everyone turns into everyone else and we're sure to foop it up badly! So stay tuned for the insanity!