"SHEESH man, what is it whenever BT-the-author starts a story, she screws it up?!" Mike said in an aggravated tone. "Just start the thing, man..."
One day Al & BT appeared (funny how these all start that way...).
"HI-iii!" Al sang out cheerfully.
"Al...why ya singin'?" Davy said.
"I dunno...why am I singin', BT-the-author? Why am I even talking to you?! I should NOT be referring to the author!! Anyway. Hey fictional BT? Um...BT..." Al whistled at her and waved her hand in front of BT's face.
"Isn't she usually a little more active than that?" said Micky, who was uncomfortably being stared at by BT...who melted promptly.
"Huh?!" said Mike. "Uh...Al...can you explain this?"
Al looked at BT with an odd look on her face.
She looked at BT looking at Micky who was looking at Al who was looking at BT. The looking went on for what seemed an eternity until Mike walked in.
"HEY! What's up you guys and where did this puddle with eyes come from?"
"That's BT," said Al & Micky both at once.
"Well, why's she-"
"We don't know," they said again.
Al pulled a mop seemingly out of nowhere, mopped BT up, squeezed the mop out into a large bucket she also got seemingly from nowhere, & BT formed into her normal self again.
"Whoa, that was cool!" Micky said.
BT kind of went "Ooohh..." and started melting again.
"HEY hey you stop that BT, what's gotten into you!" said Al, grabbing her in mid-melt just in time to stop her from disintegrating totally.
BT just kinda swayed back & forth a little, never taking her eyes off Micky.
"Mick," Mike said, trying very hard and mostly unsuccessfully to stifle a grin, "I think she likes ya."
"Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh," Micky groaned, and picked up a pillow, smashed it into his face, & hid.
BT was now floating around the room. Al sighed and threw a dart, inflating her.
Scooping up BT, Al walked over to the sink and carefully deposited her under it.
"Seems as if she's gone a bit gaga." Said Al.
BT was staring at Micky and got stars and hearts and all sorts of funny twinkly things in her eyes.
Davy grimaced. "Hey! That's mine! I patented that!"
"Nonono you didn't. But maybe the producers did." said Mike.
"Yeh, whatever.... but um.. why IS she doing all this stuff over Micky? She never did before!" said Davy.
"Um... well see, I got the power to change reality sorta... in that last fanfic. So I am thinking maybe something weird happened to BT." said Al.
BT was oblivious to everything. Except Micky.
"For cryin' out loud, Al," Micky said in a muffled voice (he still had the pillow over his face), "she's YOUR figment. Can't you make her STOP THIS?!"
"Nope," Al said immediately. "After I created her, she was pretty much on her own from there on."
"Well what're we gonna DO?!?!?!" shrieked Micky, his voice getting higher with every syllable.
"Oh...I dunno..." Mike said. He had the most hilarious look on his face, trying not to burst out laughing. "You'd look cute together!!!" he shouted, and then started giggling hopelessly.
Micky took the pillow and threw it to the other side of the couch, and made the Worst face at Mike, who was still laughing.
"Hi everyone!" said Peter. "How come BT looks like a zombie?"
"She likes Micky," said Al, who found the situation a bit amusing as well.
"OOOH!" shrieked Peter. "BT likes Micky, BT- f'OOFFF!" Micky threw the other pillow at him, & ran upstairs and hid.
Al giggled and sat down next to Micky. BT followed in a slow trancelike way, and stopped at the door.
"Mmm I smell Micky." she said in a weird voice.
"Nope! No Micky here. Just me."
BT looked at Al funnily. "Who are you?" she asked.
"BT, you suck." she said and got into the bed with Micky. Normally Al would NOT do that, but she had to make it look like Micky wasn't around.
"Oh, well I will get into bed with you also." said BT.
Al made a face. "No, BT, you know I hate sharing the bed with you. You never clip your toenails and they hurt, quite frankly."
BT tried to get into the bed and Al kept pushing her.
"I smeeellll Mickckcky," she said.
"BT!" said Al, getting out her Whonking Stick and smashing BT over the head.
BT collapsed into a BT heap and was still moaning abou Micky. Micky made a move to get out of bed (he personally didn't like Al because she kept kicking him in the gut).
"No uh, Davy..er. you stay there, K?" said Al.
"But I'm.. GAH!" said Micky who recieved a quick kick in the gut again.
"SHHHHH we don't want you to talk or say you're name or ANYTHING. If you don't do that we'll have to tie you up. Its for your own protection or else BT will... uh.. BT?" said Al.
But BT was already up and around the bed to where Micky was sitting. Al got out of the bed but it was too late. BT was already melting all over Micky.
"AH BT! It looks like they just cleaned up here!" said Al in disgust. "I am in disgust. BLECK!"
"BLECK!" said Davy walking in and seeing the BT mess.
"HEEELLPPP YUGH!" said Micky, trying to seperate himself from the sticky BT mess.
Micky grabbed her hair, and yanked, and she peeled off like one of those facial masks. "Eeewwwwwwwww," he said distastefully, and dropped her in a melty mess onto the floor.
Peter was standing in the doorway. "I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like that," he said.
"Maybe she'll stay like that for awhile," said Micky hopefully, & left to change shirts.
Al walked over and poked BT with the whonking stick.
BT de-melted. "Don't do that." Then she paused for a moment. "I smell Micky," she announced, and walked toward the door.
Peter stood in her way, and wouldn't let her leave.
"BT, what is this 'I smell Micky' thing?? That's GROSS," Al said.
"Well, I don't SMELL him," BT said with a pained expression. "I can tell that he's there."
"You kretch him!!" Peter said happily.
BT thought about that for a minute. "No, not kretch really."
"Nope, not quite...kretch is different."
"Oh...it nerks like kretch to me."
"Nerk!! That's it. Thank you, Peter. I'd like to leave now," BT said, and squished past Peter & ran downstairs, to where Micky was hiding behind Mike (and wearing a different shirt).
"Pleasedon'tlethergetme, pleasedon'tlethergetme," Micky said frantically.
"Calm down, man, she's just a figment."
"She's a MENACE," Micky said whinily.
"Oh, sheesh," Mike said, and stepped out from in front of Micky, who quickly darted behind Mike & cowered in a silly manner.
Mike sighed and ran upstairs to find Al. Micky wasn't expecting it and stood there staring at BT like a mouse who know its time was up. He got big scared eyes and made a low small whining sound.
"OH HOW CUTE!" shouted BT and pounced.
Meanwhile, Mike collided into Al and Peter as they were coming out the room, closely followed by Davy.
"AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" they heard and Mike grabbed Al and threw her onto BT.
"OUCH!' cried Al.
"MICKY!" cried BT, who was immobilized due to fat Al sitting on her.
"Hey! I'm not fat!" said Al.
BANG! BT exploded sending Al flying.
"YEWWWWOOOOOCCHHH!" cried Al, banging into Davy who unfortunately just arrived out the door to see what was happening.
BT ran after Micky who was running up to Mike.
"HELPMESHE'SGONNAGETMEI'MSCAREDSOMEONEDOSOMETHINGHELPHELPHELP!" cried Micky. No one could understand him.
"MICKY! COME BACK!" cried BT who was herself again instead of a black charred spot on the carpet.
Al, meanwhile, had hit Davy who bounced her back over the railing of the balcony when he fell backwards, and thus Al landed on her head and died.
Peter started to get a funny look on his face.
"AH YOU KILLED AL!" he shouted at the top of his lungs to no one in particular.
Al was lying there when Davy said "Hey, 'ow do you kill a figment?"
Peter scratched his head and started kicking Al. "Hey, Al, wake up, you're not really dead."
"FINE! I'm not But stop kicking me!" whined Al.
Meanwhile, Micky was struggling with BT on the stairs.
"Geeettt OOOOOFFF meeeeeeeeee!!!" he screeched.
"MICKYYYYYYYY," she said dreamily.
Micky finally managed to pry her off using Al's whonking stick, & flipped her over the railing. It was just the wrong moment, for just as Davy reached the bottom of the stairs, BT landed on his head.
"'EEEEEYYYYY!!! You get off!!"
BT scrambled up & sat on his shoulders, looking around. "Hmm...this isn't nearly as satisfying as riding around on the other guys' heads," she said, and hopped off.
"I KRETCH MICKY!!!" she shouted, and ran back upstairs.
"Wait...you mean nerk, don't you?" Peter called after her.
"Nope, it's kretch this time," she said, still running.
Micky got the worst frightened look on his face, & dove over the railing just as she caught up to him, missing Davy by an inch.
Davy looked petrified. "Don't do that!" he squeaked.
"Sorry man," said Micky, and ran outside.
Davy ran into the bathroom to hide and Mike just had a worried face.
Al was rubbing her head and was definitely looking sleepy and hurt
. BT didn't care and ran Al over. Al laid on the ground and moaned.
"How did she get downstairs that fast?" asked Mike.
"I dunno." said Davy from the bathroom.
"I mean, she was up here and Micky jumped and then she was just DOWN there.. like POOF..." said Mike, scratching his hat.
Davy came out of the bathroom to find Mike looking puzzled and Peter tending to Al who was only semi conscious.
"Hey, SHE can do something! remember, she can change reality." said Davy, shuddering as he recalled being a lamp and a snowman and a paperweight with eyes that went round and round and never stopped.
"Yeh, but she's like really hurt I think." said Peter quietly.
Al turned bright red and tried to sit up. "I'm... fine..." she said but she screamed "YEOCH!" and fell over again.
"Guess not!" Davy sighed.
Al looked over her glasses at him. "HMPH!" she said huffily.
"Look, Al ya gotta figure out how to get BT back to normal." Davy and Mike said.
"I think she got a broken neck or something." said Peter.
Peter picked Al up and took her to the couch. Davy and Mike kept trying to reason with her.
"Yes yes, I'd love to *OUCH* help but I'm sorta *OUCH!* uh.. damaged right now. OUCH! Peter! Stop twisting my foot!" said Al.
"Oh, sorry. Trying to see if its broken." said Peter.
"Well, you don't have to twist it like that!" said Al. She gave him a pained look. "Just keep me away from BT! I think I have footprints on my face!"
"Yeh, you do!" smirked Davy.
Al sighed and tried to move again. "Ow ow ow ow OWCH. This isn't gonna work. OUCH."
Peter sighed and picked her up and started heading towards the door. "Come on Davy, you and me have to take Al to the hospital!" said Peter.
Davy looked alarmed. "She's a FIGMENT!" said Davy.
"Yeh but she's real now so we gotta go take her to the hospital."
"No no no hospitals I'm fine!" said Al, turning bright red again. "Uh... can you scratch my nose for me though?"
"Why?" asked Peter.
"Uh.. no reason.... I just uh.. my arms are just a tad bit numb. Hehe" said Al.
Micky glanced around frantically, looking for somewhere to hide. He saw BT start to climb out the upstairs window, & panicking, got into the Monkeemobile trunk & pulled the lid nearly all the way down.
BT dropped to the ground, brushed the grass off her, & stared at nothing fixatedly. She got a strange look on her face, assumed the lotus position, closed her eyes, and started running towards the back of the house.
Micky lifed the trunk lid, jumped out, ran back in the house, & said, "Hey what's wrong with Al?"
"She got stepped on," said Mike.
"'She got stepped on.' Mike threw me at BT, BT exploded at me, Davy flipped me off the stairs..."
"I did WHAT?" Davy said incredulously.
Al ignored him. "...and BT ran over me. 'I got stepped on.' SHEESH, Mike, I-"
"Okay, okay, she's been injured in a variety of ways &...did you say you were real?"
Peter got a funny look on his face. "Real?"
"Yeh, real you said she was real!" said Mike.
"Nono, I mean that she... well she's HERE now and she's basically the same as us. I mean they are REAL but they are made up at the same time. Ya dig?"
Mike and Davy looked at each other and made the loony sign with their hands.
"Look, that's all fine and good but I'd like to take a lil nap now. NO HOSPITALS!" said Al.
"Um, sure Al.... We'll just stick you in the Monkeemobile." said Davy. "NO HOSPITALS! NO HOSPITALS! They'll know I'm not real cause I got purple bloooddd!" Al shrieked.
BT was totally unaware of anything as she mercilessly stalked Micky who was slightly a tad bit concerned perhaps about Al.
"YEOWCH!" cried Micky, jumping 3 feet into the air and BT attached herself to the back of his legs.
Al sighed and poofed out. She returned in a few seconds with bandages on her head, a neck brace and some crutches.
Peter looked concerned as Al could not stand too well, but she wasn't bad with the crutches to help her.
"BT! Put .. er.. LET Micky go right now!"
BT looked at her in a weird way and then went back to staring and hanging onto Micky.
"Hmmm.. what can we do, Peter?" asked Al.
Peter leaned over and whispered something to her. Al's eyes lit up and she got a lil smirk on her face.
She popped back out and returned 5 minutes later.
"Wheeee! I forgot! If I go take a bath in Peter's mind it sorta heals me up a bit! I've never been really hurt in the real world before! Anyway, I got it..." Al took out a Tupperware container from a paper bag. Micky shuddered as he remembered being Tupperware. Al opened the tupperware and inside was nothing else but...
A BAKED FISH, PICKLE AND LASAGNA SANDWICH!
BT instantly started sniffing around, pounded on Davy (who was standing right next to Al, this is an unlucky story for him) perched on his shoulders, swiped the sandwich and perched back on Micky.
BT devoured the sandwich and then fell off Micky.
"MMMMM that was good," she sighed.
"Now, you gonna be a good lil figment or do I have to punish you?" said Al, standing over BT.
BT just smiled happily and held out a hand. Al helped her up and to test the current state of events, shoved a reluctant Micky in front of her face.
BT just smiled at him and said "Hi, Micky!" as if nothing ever happened. Micky sighed, rubbed his face and headed back to the house.
BT looked puzzled. She just shrugged and popped out to get more sandwiches.
Next Issue: Everyone gets turned into mermaids from some wacky seafood take out they pick up.