One time there was a beyoootiful seamonster hatched in the sea. She was a lovely sea green and she had the most beyootiful fins! She was a princess. They all called her Princess Lilyfrond.
Her father was a royal blue and her mother was a brilliant purple. She had only one younger sister named "Lilac" and she was a funky pink color.
Lily had 25 starfish pets and she used to name them after snackcakes which everyone thought was weird but humored her because she was a princess. She was ill tempered, rude and prone to punt creatures. It was her favorite pattime.
All the sea monsters had pouches and Lily loved keeping her starfish in her pouch. She also kept some of her smaller subjects, like lobsters and crabs and non-electric eels in there too.
She swam and played all day in the coral reefs around her island home where the fog was so thick no people every went there or found them. They ruled over a large assortment of sea creatures from sea monsters like herself to seals, whales, dolphins, porpoises, crabs, shellfish and regular fish. Of course the shellfish and fish had the short end of the stick because they were eaten.
At any rate, by the time she was 3 years old she had to get married. Her mother pleaded with her to find a mate, but her father made her meet suitors. She met several. She liked the seagreen monster like herself best but her father had deemed him unsuitable.
He kept pushing the pink one because he thought the pink one had an admirable color. Her mother wasn't so sure, but he WAS royalty like them, and he was her father's choice.
Lily was heartbroken because she had the biggest crush on the seagreen one so she punted her father across the island and made for the sea.
"Where are you going!?" cried her mother.
"I'm going to get caught by the humans and I don't care!" said Lily and she was never seen there again.
Lily ripped off her coral sea ruby crown and cried her way to the shallow waters near the shore, where she saw two humans. One was a dumb looking human and the other was silly, so she got caught by them. And they named her Sassip which she thought was okay because Lilyfrond was dumb. And she liked humans cause she could punt them farther and they looked funny. And that's the story of Lilyfrond who's now called Sassip.
"LILYFROND!?" said Davy in horror. "I much rather like Sassip!"
"Yeh, well that's PRINCESS Sassip to you!" said Sassip, punting him.
"Oh, Lily.. hmmm..." said Al.
"Yeh I'm always named after a plant! Its cause I'm greeen!" she said unhappily.
"What's up with the green thing?" said Mike.
"Green is a rare color for seamonsters. So everyone thinks the green ones are dumb," said Sassip.
"Why's that?" said Davy, staggering over. "I dunno. But that's why Dad wouldn't let me marry the other green one," she said.
"Maybe green ones are better!" said Davy, petting Sassip.
"Maybe they are evil..." said Mike.
"WHAT!" said Sassip, punting him.
"Ugh..." said Mike after he hit the wall in a heap.
"Don't do that Sassip dearest.." said Davy.
"K," said Sassip.
And everyone took a nap because they were tired.
Next Issue: Al and a stupid story.